Wisdom and Understanding

In today’s culture we seek wisdom and understanding anywhere we can find it. We are constantly looking for it and creating new venues to discover it. In this high-speed society we have the ability to find anything we need with the touch of a finger. It is so normal of us to seek wisdom and understanding. But it is difficult to seek true wisdom, the type of wisdom that only comes from God. We exist in a society where humanity has rejected the reality of God. Our world today with every chance they get try to ignore that not does God exist but that also He is irrelevant and a crutch for the weak and helpless. The bible has good morals to live by but yet not a text to be regarded as sacred and holy. We seek wisdom and understanding in the arenas that we are most comfortable with and the ones that please us the most. Instead of truly seeking wisdom we seek truth to match up with the emotions we are feeling. We search for it in sayings and limericks. We delve deep into the lyrics of the music we listen to trying to evoke the mood we are in and the words that we are too weak to express. We search out guru’s and read book after book after book to find understanding. We are more concerned with the next book in the Oprah book club to help us discover what truly is understanding of this life. We as humans try to have understanding and wisdom revealed to us by seeking out mediums and psychics to reveal us the way to go. Very simply put; in our sick culture we are dying physically and spiritually in a futile attempt to seek out what is truly wisdom and truly understanding.
I have fell victim to this search myself. I have been one of those people who seeks out what wisdom truly is and how I can apply understanding in my own life. I sought it out in the very forms that were listed above. I took it a step farther and sought out narcotics and alcohol to try and gain some insight to the spiritual world that I had been neglecting. I searched and searched and yet in the end felt empty and dry and back where I had started. It was as if I was in a circular motion with the way I was living my life. Every day seemed like the same thing over and over. It came to the point where I didn’t even feel alive. I felt rejected and down. But this could have all been prevented. I read proverbs chapter 1. In the opening verses of this book Solomon wisely states the real key to true spiritual understanding and insight. He says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom but fools reject discipline.
Fearing the Lord. A concept I’m still unsure of. I know I fear God but more in a sense of “ooo, if I do not do this God will punish me and make my life a living hell.” But the fear of the Lord that is talked of here is completely different. It is more of a reverent spirit for the Lord and what he wants to do through our lives. It is a penitent spirit. One of humility that must be pervasive in our everyday lives. When we try to do it on our own we fail miserably. When we seek out wisdom and understanding we fail or find the wrong encouragement or advice and completely miss out on the truth. We have a choice to accept the wisdom God gives, heed its words, and apply the truth in our lives and decision-making. But yet so many times I find myself ignoring the basic truths I know from the word, from my parents, and even from friends. I seek out my own path so often and try to make my own way in this life. But why? Is it my human nature or something much more ingrained inside of me? Why is my life so much more complicated and difficult than other Christians I see around me? Is this God’s way of leading me into difficult situations to force me to grow and mature so that I can better be prepared for the work that God has for me? It seems so unfair. If one is called to greatness does that mean a life of misery and difficulty before they enter into what God has truly called them to? I have heard it said time and time again those in the favor of the Lord will truly discover wisdom and begin to gain understanding into the vast expanse of the Lord.
I feel that the choices we make in life have something to play off of. But then the idea of prevenient grace comes into mind. The idea that God loved me while I was drinking and lying in a gutter wasted beyond all belief. The idea that while I was off living wildly and out of control that God has His hand and calling on my life while I was rejecting it. It is a sobering thought that through all the stupid things I have done, all the booze, the drugs, the loose women, and wild parties that God was standing right next to me while I was doing these things. And yet through seeing it all he still loved me and still wanted me. He still cared about me. And even though I have turned my life over to him I still have the tendencies to make dumb choices and allow them to affect me and influence me. Yet through it all Christ still loves me. No matter what I do the fact remains that He gave his life for me, and all the things I have done and still have yet to do. But where do the blessings come in? Must there be a dry and a “dark ages” period in my life where things are all confused and twisted? Where very little seems to go right. Or am I focusing solely on the blessings I feel I should have and not seeing the entire picture. It just does not seem fair some times.