Coasters In Life

Roller Coasters have always been a passion of mine. The thrill of flying up and down a steel track. A car going nearly to the brink of flying off of the edge, being thrown in your seat. Screaming at the top of your lungs, begging to stop but yet you still want the ride to never end. But my favorite part has always been the final stop before you roll into the station. The little abrupt jolt is so definite, so consumed with emotions. It’s my favorite part to look around and see the faces of the people that just experienced the ride with you. Hair messed up by the wind; disoriented and wide-eyed you can tell just by looking at this group of people that they had just experienced something amazing. Some people in the car are laughing and carrying on, and some still have their hands gripped tight against the handlebars and restraints.
I have noticed the past couple of weeks that life is so similar to that roller coaster ride. When you’re in a roller coaster line you always see that one little kid terrified to get on the ride. We are the same way. We are terrified to really get on the ride of life with God. We know it’s going to be crazy just because of what we have heard from those around us. We start out on this “high” spiritually then comes this jolting event that just seems to bring us down this huge drop and life just picks up in speed. It’s all we can do to hold on to the faith we have but yet God just wants us to trust Him and enjoy the journey. We throw up our hands in surrender. It feels like we have no control over what is happening. We are getting tossed around in our life with no idea what is coming around the next major curve in our life. We are flipped around and corkscrewed through this journey but yet me may try to take control but cant, we have placed the entire journey in Gods hands.
There are times in life when everything is on an even keel and life is smooth then all of a sudden the journey becomes rough and bumpy and everything is coming at us all at once. Just like in a coaster where there are these moments of peace and tranquility, then all of a sudden there are so many twists and turns that it is hard to keep our equilibrium on track. That’s where I am in this life right now. It seems like everything in this journey is being turned upside down all around me. What I thought was coming next didn’t happen. There are so many bumps and bruises that show up on my heart from being tossed around in my seat that I look like I just am halfway through a major prizefight. It’s barely enough to keep my head on straight much less keep my head up to see what’s next. But maybe that’s what God is trying to teach me. That even though I want to grip the handlebars with all the strength that I have when my head is down, I should lift my hands up even when I cant lift my head. That I should surrender and give up trying to figure out life all by myself and trust that he knows what he is doing. That even though I do not know what lies beyond the next turn I know and need to trust that he has my best intentions in mind though I don’t see it at the time nor do I agree with the direction that my journey is headed in I have to trust.
I hate trusting. It puts me in a position where I'm out on a limb vulnerable with someone holding the chainsaw in one hand and a ladder in the other. It is there decision on which one they will choose. Will they pick to come up and rescue me from my plight and bring me joy, safety, and comfort? Or will they turn the chainsaw on and cut me from my vulnerable state and leave me to hurtle to the ground and be left in a bloody, painful, dying heap. Even when it comes to God I have hard time trusting. Even though he has proven it in the past, it is so hard. I feel like I know what is best for my life, and what will be the right thing, place, and people for my life. But I don’t have control. Whether I trust him or not I don’t have control. So I submit, but in my submission are my intentions worthy? Do I solely submit because I know it is what God wants of me, and it is what I need to do to be used by him? Or do I submit because I know that every time I take control of my life I mess it up so much worse than it already was? Is this second intention so bad? I mean does it really matter as long as you’re submitting. Something I guess I will find out in the end.
Then up ahead in my journey I know that there is an end coming. No matter how thrilling the ride has been or how amazing I have felt during it, it will come to an end eventually. What will be my expression when I come to that abrupt stop at the station? Will I be laughing and joking or will I still be grasping the handlebars with all the life in me. I have had a phrase that a friend said to me and since he died I have really tried to apply it to my every situation. I don’t want to live a normal life, when my journey in this life I want to enter heaven sliding on my butt kicking and screaming. Jump up dust myself off and say, “man what a heck of a ride, lets do it again.” That is what I want to happen but only time and experience will dictate what my reaction is. But I can live in a way that I give the reaction that I truly want to give. For now all I can do is embrace the “suck” and keep pushing on in my life no matter what curves life throws at me.