Nice watches have always captured my eye. Whenever I was in the mall I would find the most expensive watch store and just let it captivate my eyes. I would then go to wal mart or khols and search for a watch that looked similar to it just so I could have this perception of cool. I would spend sixty or seventy dollars on a watch that just looked like the real watch I desired. But yet it never was the real thing. When I finished my time at Norwich university my dad bought me the watch of my dreams. It was a Breitling Bentley motors watch. I have wanted this one style of watches ever since I saw blue angle pilots wearing them. I thought they were the most amazing things in the world. And now I finally had one. I love this watch. I wear it every chance I get.
My watch got me thinking the other day. When I was a kid I saw something that captivated my eye. I worked my tail off just to save up enough money to buy an imitation of that watch. But yet I still desired the real thing. I still wanted the real thing and even daydreamed about how amazing it would be the day that I had the real thing on my wrist.
Its just like our lives. We search for love. We try to find it everywhere. We see exactly what we want and pursue it. WE fight for it and wind up the proud owner of a sad imitation that will never satisfy us. We search for it in any aspect and avenue we can find and yet we still are not satisfied with the results. We are broke and broken, spent physically, spent mentally, and even spent emotionally. We are at our rock bottom. This period in life sucks. We have done everything we can to feel that love we so desperately search for. We try and find it in money, our jobs, possessions, athletics, and even our romantic relationships. We can never find it though. Nothing seems to fill that hole.
But it has always amazed me that when we are at our rock bottom God always shows up. He shows up and lets us know that he is not only still God but he loves us and is in total control over every aspect of our life. He gives us that true watch that we have been looking for. He gives us that pure love we have searched and it makes us feel complete. We want to show it off and tell the world about it. The cheap imitations do not satisfy us anymore. This is the main thing that has captured our love and our attention just like my watch.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
No Greater Love
No Greater Love
I find it funny how one verse can make you ponder everything in your life. Direction seems almost fickle at times. Christ said in John 15:13 that “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friend.” As a former infantry soldier this hit me hard. Id like to say now in the safety of my room, undoubtedly yes I could do this. But it is one thing to say this now and another to follow through while I am being attacked by an enemy. A few things went through my mind when I began reading this verse; What love is this?, It has to be intentional and voluntary, and this is for a friend.
What type of love is this? I mean I have been in life or death situations before where I have risked my own life to save another mans but I never considered it love. I never considered it an emotion. I thought of it more as a response to my duty to my fellow brother in arms. It came with a sense that they would do the same for me. Whether or not if I liked the person, we wore the uniform of soldiers in the United States Army and that was enough for me. I knew exactly then what my response must be. But what type of love is it that I can do this for someone outside of my military family or even someone I don’t know and is outside of my call of duty. Am I truly willing to lay my life down for some stranger?
This whole idea is voluntary. The whole idea of jumping on that grenade for a friend or taking that bullet to save someone else is a voluntary idea. NO one is forcing the situation on us. If we do this we are committing to it. Even if we try we know the possible results that could face us if we succeed. We willing are laying our lives down. Who in their right mind does this? I know my uncle did in Vietnam and one thing he told me is that he did it for love. He loved his brothers in arms. The voluntary portion of it still boggles the mind.
Laying your life down for a friend. I mean you can sit there and say you would be willing to lay your life down for a friend but do you mean it? Does it encompass all of your friends or do you have your select few that are in an inner circle that you would choose. Could you do it for a stranger?
Then it hits me even harder. It hits so close to home that I actually begin to cry. I look at all three of these things and begin to wonder in my life how I could ever do this. I ask myself if I am even capable of this or is there someone who is. But there always has been. Christ did this for me 2000 years ago on a cross. He loved me so much that he was willing to voluntary give himself up so that I can live. He loved me even though he knew I would wind up one day rejecting him and turning from him. He loved me when I was drinking, he loved me when is was fornicating, he loved me when I was selling my own possessions to put myself into an inebriated state to just escape all the pain, he loved me at my lowest point. He knew all of this before I was even a thought or even an idea. He knew all the struggles I would face in life but yet his love was the key factor.
He loved me so much that he willingly gave up his life for me so that I could live. He ended it all. He laid himself down, went through hell itself on a cross for me. He took my shame, my disgusting failures, and my dirty secrets on himself and paid the price for my mistakes 2000 years ago. He was willing to do this for love and the chance that I would find him and fall in love with him.
He did this for a friend. That even though I rejected him, and in a basic sense spat in his face and never headed a word he said he did this for me, and considered me a friend. He was willing to take the bullet, jump on the grenade, be crucified for me.
The amazing thing to me is that he didn’t just do this for me. He did this for all of creation. There is not a single person alive on this earth that he was not willing to love and voluntarily lay his life down so that we may find life in him. That he was able to do this for all of humanity still to this day baffles me and will continue to do so until the day I am able to see him face to face.
Our culture some times dumbs down the idea of giving oneself for someone else. We say it in songs about dating relationships, we see it in the movies, we hear about it on TV but when we really look at it, it looks nothing like that of what Jesus did for you and me. No matter what the world says there is nothing in this life that can even cast a shadow on what he did for us on Calvary. And that is a love worth sharing…for there is no greater love.
I find it funny how one verse can make you ponder everything in your life. Direction seems almost fickle at times. Christ said in John 15:13 that “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friend.” As a former infantry soldier this hit me hard. Id like to say now in the safety of my room, undoubtedly yes I could do this. But it is one thing to say this now and another to follow through while I am being attacked by an enemy. A few things went through my mind when I began reading this verse; What love is this?, It has to be intentional and voluntary, and this is for a friend.
What type of love is this? I mean I have been in life or death situations before where I have risked my own life to save another mans but I never considered it love. I never considered it an emotion. I thought of it more as a response to my duty to my fellow brother in arms. It came with a sense that they would do the same for me. Whether or not if I liked the person, we wore the uniform of soldiers in the United States Army and that was enough for me. I knew exactly then what my response must be. But what type of love is it that I can do this for someone outside of my military family or even someone I don’t know and is outside of my call of duty. Am I truly willing to lay my life down for some stranger?
This whole idea is voluntary. The whole idea of jumping on that grenade for a friend or taking that bullet to save someone else is a voluntary idea. NO one is forcing the situation on us. If we do this we are committing to it. Even if we try we know the possible results that could face us if we succeed. We willing are laying our lives down. Who in their right mind does this? I know my uncle did in Vietnam and one thing he told me is that he did it for love. He loved his brothers in arms. The voluntary portion of it still boggles the mind.
Laying your life down for a friend. I mean you can sit there and say you would be willing to lay your life down for a friend but do you mean it? Does it encompass all of your friends or do you have your select few that are in an inner circle that you would choose. Could you do it for a stranger?
Then it hits me even harder. It hits so close to home that I actually begin to cry. I look at all three of these things and begin to wonder in my life how I could ever do this. I ask myself if I am even capable of this or is there someone who is. But there always has been. Christ did this for me 2000 years ago on a cross. He loved me so much that he was willing to voluntary give himself up so that I can live. He loved me even though he knew I would wind up one day rejecting him and turning from him. He loved me when I was drinking, he loved me when is was fornicating, he loved me when I was selling my own possessions to put myself into an inebriated state to just escape all the pain, he loved me at my lowest point. He knew all of this before I was even a thought or even an idea. He knew all the struggles I would face in life but yet his love was the key factor.
He loved me so much that he willingly gave up his life for me so that I could live. He ended it all. He laid himself down, went through hell itself on a cross for me. He took my shame, my disgusting failures, and my dirty secrets on himself and paid the price for my mistakes 2000 years ago. He was willing to do this for love and the chance that I would find him and fall in love with him.
He did this for a friend. That even though I rejected him, and in a basic sense spat in his face and never headed a word he said he did this for me, and considered me a friend. He was willing to take the bullet, jump on the grenade, be crucified for me.
The amazing thing to me is that he didn’t just do this for me. He did this for all of creation. There is not a single person alive on this earth that he was not willing to love and voluntarily lay his life down so that we may find life in him. That he was able to do this for all of humanity still to this day baffles me and will continue to do so until the day I am able to see him face to face.
Our culture some times dumbs down the idea of giving oneself for someone else. We say it in songs about dating relationships, we see it in the movies, we hear about it on TV but when we really look at it, it looks nothing like that of what Jesus did for you and me. No matter what the world says there is nothing in this life that can even cast a shadow on what he did for us on Calvary. And that is a love worth sharing…for there is no greater love.
Two Putt to Success
In golf your goal is to at minimum get the ball on the green in regulation. It is that one part of the game that every golfer can at least get lucky every round or so and hit a green in regulation. But then comes the true test of a golfers strength of mind, putting. Putting has been the downfall of many a golfer and has given out nicknames like the golden bear, shooter, and tin man to many a pro. It seems so simple right? But yet it can frustrate us beyond all repair. We have seen movie after movie that shows putting as this natural thing as natural as a bodies movement. But its not. There is no secret remedy for the excellent putting game. Its not just a simple tap tap tapporoo but it is so much more. It takes hours and hours of practice.
One thing that I have learned is this. Putting once a green is a very hard task for me. I will try everything in my power to get the ball in that little round cup in just one simple putt. Doesn’t matter to me if it is thirty feet or three I want to make it in one putt. I found that I would mess up my game even worse. I would wind up making three or four putts per green. But then it hit me one day from the words of my golf coach. All I needed to do was two putt to success. If I sent the ball traveling in the direction of the cup with not too much force in my swing that the ball would, if I aimed correctly, would be close enough for a simple putt to get the ball in the cup. I had to aim in the right direction and away from any obstacles that stood out in my way, hit the ball with just the right amount of power, and stay focus that the ball would be close enough to make it in with a second putt. This improved my golf game immensely and took several strokes off of a single round of golf.
Then it hit me. This idea is a lot like the pursuit of what God will in our lives. Now stay with me and I promise you will see exactly what I am talking about. When we take these three things and apply them to our own lives we will see exactly what we are missing. The three things we need to be work on is our aim, force, and focus.
Aim is important in putting. If you are aiming at the wrong direction your ball will head an entirely different direction than where you were even aiming. It is frustrating when the same thing happens to you in your life. We have a tendency to aim at what we think is the best direction to take and just end up lost and confused and frustrated. We point the finger at God, say that the “green” didn’t break the right way, or even something got in our way. We never point the finger at ourselves and say that we just had our aim way off. We were not even pointing close to where God wants us and it takes time, effort, and pain to get back to where we belong.
Force is hard not to ignore in the game of golf. It’s an idea that holds a steep learning curve. Some greens are faster than others, some are wet, and sometimes we are fifty yards away from the hole. We try to force the ball in hitting it as hard as we possibly could and yet the ball becomes and unpredictable object in this horrible game. Sometimes we hit it too softly and get angry and want to throw our putter as hard and as far as we can. But yet the same is in life. Sometimes a situation arises in our own life and we try to force the outcome that we think is best but yet just wind up making the situation. And sometimes we just lay off too much and the ball barely even gets rolling. The hardest thing in life to do a majority of the time is to just let God be God. We try to get what we think is best, or even force Gods will to develop too prematurely. We do everything in our power sometimes to take God out of the equation. WE try to force Gods hand. And yet it never works. We wind up making the situation so much worse. And become so much farther away from where we need to be than when we started. But if we just don’t try and force the issue we will see God lead us exactly in the direction we need to go.
Focus is a pivotal part of the game. If your mind is wandering your game will falter but if you over think every aspect of the game you will go crazy. Even in our lives we have a tendency to lose focus on the hole and the goal God has placed in our lives. We lose sight of where God wants us exactly to be. Its crazy to think that sometimes we are willing to let our mind lead us down a path that is totally against anything God would even have for our lives.
If we just approach our lives almost like a two putt to success I believe we will see dramatic changes in our current states of frustration, anger, and resentment. IF we just follow Gods leading and aim directly at where he wants us, we don’t try and force the will too prematurely or even force ourselves out of his will, and focus on him and what he has for our life, I guarantee that He will do the rest. He will elad us and guide us and encourage us even in the toughest of lies. His love for us never fades, never forces pain, and never causes resentment. His love is the factor in our life that we need to play off of. We need to let God be God and allow him to take our second putt…in our two putt to success.
One thing that I have learned is this. Putting once a green is a very hard task for me. I will try everything in my power to get the ball in that little round cup in just one simple putt. Doesn’t matter to me if it is thirty feet or three I want to make it in one putt. I found that I would mess up my game even worse. I would wind up making three or four putts per green. But then it hit me one day from the words of my golf coach. All I needed to do was two putt to success. If I sent the ball traveling in the direction of the cup with not too much force in my swing that the ball would, if I aimed correctly, would be close enough for a simple putt to get the ball in the cup. I had to aim in the right direction and away from any obstacles that stood out in my way, hit the ball with just the right amount of power, and stay focus that the ball would be close enough to make it in with a second putt. This improved my golf game immensely and took several strokes off of a single round of golf.
Then it hit me. This idea is a lot like the pursuit of what God will in our lives. Now stay with me and I promise you will see exactly what I am talking about. When we take these three things and apply them to our own lives we will see exactly what we are missing. The three things we need to be work on is our aim, force, and focus.
Aim is important in putting. If you are aiming at the wrong direction your ball will head an entirely different direction than where you were even aiming. It is frustrating when the same thing happens to you in your life. We have a tendency to aim at what we think is the best direction to take and just end up lost and confused and frustrated. We point the finger at God, say that the “green” didn’t break the right way, or even something got in our way. We never point the finger at ourselves and say that we just had our aim way off. We were not even pointing close to where God wants us and it takes time, effort, and pain to get back to where we belong.
Force is hard not to ignore in the game of golf. It’s an idea that holds a steep learning curve. Some greens are faster than others, some are wet, and sometimes we are fifty yards away from the hole. We try to force the ball in hitting it as hard as we possibly could and yet the ball becomes and unpredictable object in this horrible game. Sometimes we hit it too softly and get angry and want to throw our putter as hard and as far as we can. But yet the same is in life. Sometimes a situation arises in our own life and we try to force the outcome that we think is best but yet just wind up making the situation. And sometimes we just lay off too much and the ball barely even gets rolling. The hardest thing in life to do a majority of the time is to just let God be God. We try to get what we think is best, or even force Gods will to develop too prematurely. We do everything in our power sometimes to take God out of the equation. WE try to force Gods hand. And yet it never works. We wind up making the situation so much worse. And become so much farther away from where we need to be than when we started. But if we just don’t try and force the issue we will see God lead us exactly in the direction we need to go.
Focus is a pivotal part of the game. If your mind is wandering your game will falter but if you over think every aspect of the game you will go crazy. Even in our lives we have a tendency to lose focus on the hole and the goal God has placed in our lives. We lose sight of where God wants us exactly to be. Its crazy to think that sometimes we are willing to let our mind lead us down a path that is totally against anything God would even have for our lives.
If we just approach our lives almost like a two putt to success I believe we will see dramatic changes in our current states of frustration, anger, and resentment. IF we just follow Gods leading and aim directly at where he wants us, we don’t try and force the will too prematurely or even force ourselves out of his will, and focus on him and what he has for our life, I guarantee that He will do the rest. He will elad us and guide us and encourage us even in the toughest of lies. His love for us never fades, never forces pain, and never causes resentment. His love is the factor in our life that we need to play off of. We need to let God be God and allow him to take our second putt…in our two putt to success.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Grip
Your Grip is everything
Your grip in golf is everything. If your grip is to hard the club becomes unpredictable and with the slightest turn of your wrist can cause your shot to become as deadly as a stray bullet with no target. If your grip is too loose the club may wind up going farther than your ball traveled. For decades golf professionals have debated what grip to use. There is the over lapping, the interlocking, the baseball grip, the over lapping/interlocking grip. The list goes on and on. Every golfer has his or her own variations to it. But one thing is for certain you don’t want it too tight or too loose. There is that fine line you have to walk in finding that right grip. You want to make sure it is perfect or as close to perfect as you can get. At the same time it has to be comfortable for you. You need to find that one grip that every time you pick up a club it is the most comfortable feeling in the world. You should feel ready for any lie that you are in.
Life is the same way. We have the tendency to live the same way. We hold onto things in our life that we are almost smothering ourselves. We try to control every situation in our own way that we think is best. We grip life so tightly that soon it becomes so stiff and rigid and the results frustrate us because nothing seems to be going as it should. A white knuckled approach to life is not always the smartest thing for our own life because we have control issues. We look for things in our life that we can control. Just a simple thing like what we eat or even what we drink has a profound ability to give us control. If we can control aspects in our life we feel that our grip on life is perfect. In our lives our grip can mean everything. When it is so tight that we hold onto every situation with such fervor and determination that when we do not reach the desired results that we are so frustrated and become enraged with the outcome. This plays off in the rest of the situations in our life. It throws our game completely off and we have no way of “getting it together,” because our frustration just makes our grip tighter and tighter.
We have a tendency to hold our life with no grip at all. We just loosely hold on with no care at all. We approach situations with absolutely no care in the world at all. We fire away at whatever comes our way with no result. We try so hard sometimes to get the desired result we want but with no grip we winding throwing away some of life’s best situations. It doesn’t matter what it is. We just swing away not caring at all what happens. We have this passive, “whatever” attitude. But when there is nothing left in our hands but that empty and alone feeling it hits us. We have just thrown away every opportunity that had the chance to be great just because of our blasé attitude. We don’t change because we really don’t have the guts to change. We desire something different but we are ok if nothing ever changes. We don’t mind that we are stuck in this rut.
I have been in both situations. I have held on to the life that I felt that I loved so tightly that whenever a situation did not work out exactly just how I wanted or planned that frustration and anger seemed to be the only factor that was pervasive in my pursuit of what I thought was best. My grip on life was so tight that I somehow strangled myself almost to death. I loved my life that I was living so much that when the time came for it to change I fought it with every ounce of energy that I held. I was miserable. Everything in my life seemed to go wrong and I had nowhere to turn. I have also held onto life with a loose grip not caring for anything. It didn’t matter what happened I knew that I would find something to enjoy it. I found alcohol, girls, and jobs as ways to just fulfill my life with empty hollow emotions. It soon became evident that I took it all for granted. Didn’t matter what the cause and affects were from my actions, I did what I thought was best for me. I destroyed my body, memory, and pride with drinking. I thought it would make me forget about the pain I had in my life. I thought it would numb my senses but all it did was destroy my liver, and made me feel worse in the morning than when I started drinking. I took for granted every relationship that I had thinking that they would always be there no matter what decisions I made. I drove friends away, made a rift in my own family make up, and made myself off limits to the women that deep inside made me feel love for but yet never knew. My loose grip on life killed jobs. I could have cared less if I didn’t get paid or what my boss thought of me. I could have cared less about my future and just went through the motions of the day to make them pass by faster.
Both grips seemed uncompromising in my own life. They both had massive negatives that stared me in the face. They both led me down parts of life that I regret. But when God came in my life my grip changed. My swing changed. Everything about this game of life changed completely. I didn’t grip the club to soft or too tight. I held on enough to care but not enough to try to control every aspect of my life. I didn’t overexert my self and try to live like I felt I needed to live. I didn’t over swing. It was natural. Because I wasn’t in control. I let the club do the work and that was good enough for me. I took it all in. I matured and tried not to do anything that I myself was not alone and allowed Christ to take control and allow his game to become mine. I became patient and waited on him. Not that everything became easy in life, but life became easier to live. The game itself became something that I did not mind to be apart of and I did not play it the way that I felt it should be played but I played it Gods way. I still have to watch my grip but now its worth it.
The grip, not to soft...not too tight, but just right.
Your grip in golf is everything. If your grip is to hard the club becomes unpredictable and with the slightest turn of your wrist can cause your shot to become as deadly as a stray bullet with no target. If your grip is too loose the club may wind up going farther than your ball traveled. For decades golf professionals have debated what grip to use. There is the over lapping, the interlocking, the baseball grip, the over lapping/interlocking grip. The list goes on and on. Every golfer has his or her own variations to it. But one thing is for certain you don’t want it too tight or too loose. There is that fine line you have to walk in finding that right grip. You want to make sure it is perfect or as close to perfect as you can get. At the same time it has to be comfortable for you. You need to find that one grip that every time you pick up a club it is the most comfortable feeling in the world. You should feel ready for any lie that you are in.
Life is the same way. We have the tendency to live the same way. We hold onto things in our life that we are almost smothering ourselves. We try to control every situation in our own way that we think is best. We grip life so tightly that soon it becomes so stiff and rigid and the results frustrate us because nothing seems to be going as it should. A white knuckled approach to life is not always the smartest thing for our own life because we have control issues. We look for things in our life that we can control. Just a simple thing like what we eat or even what we drink has a profound ability to give us control. If we can control aspects in our life we feel that our grip on life is perfect. In our lives our grip can mean everything. When it is so tight that we hold onto every situation with such fervor and determination that when we do not reach the desired results that we are so frustrated and become enraged with the outcome. This plays off in the rest of the situations in our life. It throws our game completely off and we have no way of “getting it together,” because our frustration just makes our grip tighter and tighter.
We have a tendency to hold our life with no grip at all. We just loosely hold on with no care at all. We approach situations with absolutely no care in the world at all. We fire away at whatever comes our way with no result. We try so hard sometimes to get the desired result we want but with no grip we winding throwing away some of life’s best situations. It doesn’t matter what it is. We just swing away not caring at all what happens. We have this passive, “whatever” attitude. But when there is nothing left in our hands but that empty and alone feeling it hits us. We have just thrown away every opportunity that had the chance to be great just because of our blasé attitude. We don’t change because we really don’t have the guts to change. We desire something different but we are ok if nothing ever changes. We don’t mind that we are stuck in this rut.
I have been in both situations. I have held on to the life that I felt that I loved so tightly that whenever a situation did not work out exactly just how I wanted or planned that frustration and anger seemed to be the only factor that was pervasive in my pursuit of what I thought was best. My grip on life was so tight that I somehow strangled myself almost to death. I loved my life that I was living so much that when the time came for it to change I fought it with every ounce of energy that I held. I was miserable. Everything in my life seemed to go wrong and I had nowhere to turn. I have also held onto life with a loose grip not caring for anything. It didn’t matter what happened I knew that I would find something to enjoy it. I found alcohol, girls, and jobs as ways to just fulfill my life with empty hollow emotions. It soon became evident that I took it all for granted. Didn’t matter what the cause and affects were from my actions, I did what I thought was best for me. I destroyed my body, memory, and pride with drinking. I thought it would make me forget about the pain I had in my life. I thought it would numb my senses but all it did was destroy my liver, and made me feel worse in the morning than when I started drinking. I took for granted every relationship that I had thinking that they would always be there no matter what decisions I made. I drove friends away, made a rift in my own family make up, and made myself off limits to the women that deep inside made me feel love for but yet never knew. My loose grip on life killed jobs. I could have cared less if I didn’t get paid or what my boss thought of me. I could have cared less about my future and just went through the motions of the day to make them pass by faster.
Both grips seemed uncompromising in my own life. They both had massive negatives that stared me in the face. They both led me down parts of life that I regret. But when God came in my life my grip changed. My swing changed. Everything about this game of life changed completely. I didn’t grip the club to soft or too tight. I held on enough to care but not enough to try to control every aspect of my life. I didn’t overexert my self and try to live like I felt I needed to live. I didn’t over swing. It was natural. Because I wasn’t in control. I let the club do the work and that was good enough for me. I took it all in. I matured and tried not to do anything that I myself was not alone and allowed Christ to take control and allow his game to become mine. I became patient and waited on him. Not that everything became easy in life, but life became easier to live. The game itself became something that I did not mind to be apart of and I did not play it the way that I felt it should be played but I played it Gods way. I still have to watch my grip but now its worth it.
The grip, not to soft...not too tight, but just right.
Golf is a funny game
Golf is a funny game. There are the highs of things like a good drive, an amazing putt, or even excellent sand work. There are always the lows of golf, things like the bad drive, the game out of the rough, the ball hitting a tree, and of course the water hazard. It is inevitable in golf to have amazing days, days that when you experience them you feel as if you are the next tiger woods and your game is improving. But undoubtedly the next round of golf will having you screaming to give it up. One putt can cause this, one solo branch hanging from the tree, one bark of a dog any of these various things can cause this round of golf to become bad. It feels like the smallest things can throw off even the most amazing of days. One little event can cause everything to come down crashing around you.
Life is just like that. You could be having an amazing ride in life. Everything is going your way. You feel absolutely invincible as if nothing in life could or would change that. That’s just the way it goes in life. There are ups and downs. There are the unexpected hazards that come along the way. A family member may say something to throw you off of your par performance, you may experience little bumps along the way, heart-break may be hanging and in your vision of what lies ahead you may not see it because the end goal, the little tin cup may be all that you are focused on.
So many times we are focused on that one end result. The little two putt to success. But life isn’t that easy something sometimes. Sometimes we focus on the end result and look right past the obstacles that stand in our way. When we face obstacles we try to hit around them when they are right in front of us. We think we know exactly how to get out of the situation. He try every shot in the book and try to even force ourselves out of the position we are in but it only makes it worse. Sometimes we have to just be patient and hit the ball back in play even if that means we have to hit it back or even to the side. We have to work out situations even if they mean taking a couple strokes to get back in play.
The one thing about golf is you have to forget. You can have the worse shot of your life, the ball can land two feet from you or 250 yards away caked in mud, covered by a bush right in front of a sand trap. No matter what the shot is you have to do one thing, forget. Every shot good or bad you have to forget. You have to approach the ball differently every time. You have too see the lie the ball is in and approach unlike any other shot. That is the key. You have take every swing of the club as a new opportunity to reach your goal. No matter what happens you must keep playing. The same in life. everything in your life whether good or bad must be taken as a new opportunity. Every moment in life should not be taken for granted. It should be faced with the same fire and determination as the rest of those situations. It’s hard to forget sometimes. It’s hard to forget when you look down and see the ball and see where you need to be. It’s hard to forget about that last shot when there are a line of oak trees staring you in the face. Its hard to forget when you see the pin so far away and distant. It’s so hard to forget. But sometimes we need to take a step back from the ball and look where we started from. Sometimes the tee box is close but you realize that you were closer now than when you started. That’s the beauty of golf. Whether it is an inch or three hundred yards you are always farther than when you started. Life is the same way. Even in the most difficult positions you realize that you are farther then when you started. Even though you are so far away from your goal you realize that you are still farther from where you started. Even through all the bad decisions, and current crappy situation you are still farther. Isn’t this still what it is all about? A learning process? Even when we mess up do we still not learn from it and it makes us stronger. Forgetting about the past isn’t forgetting what we have learned but forgetting the mistakes we made and pushing on forward in our goal.
Nothing in life comes easy. No golf shot is easy. The one club you constantly use did not become your best club easily. It took practice, comfort, but most importantly it took confidence. It is that natural swing you look for in all your shots. Now granted, some clubs are easier than others but at the same time it did not come without practice and many drops of sweat on the driving and well as divots made by slamming your club into the ground. It takes work. Even in life there are certain scenarios that seem easy to you. But when you look at them all you realize that they didn’t become easy just from skill or even from luck’s sake. But they each took work, they took trials and tests to make you stronger. It took tearful nights as well as heartbroken days to make you a stronger individual. It took times on your knees crying out to God to take the pain away to make you stronger. It took you at your absolute lowest moments in life to show you exactly what you needed to learn. Sometimes in those weakest moments we realize we are relying on our own strength too much and we need God to get us through these trials.
But the one thing besides forgetting about the last swing is having the right attitude. You can be Arnold Palmer but if your attitude is crappy it will affect your game. The frustration, the anger, the exhaustion, all of it plays a factor in your game. Sometimes you need to take a step back and just breath in and take a look around to realize where you are. If you are playing golf you must enjoy some aspect of it. You look forward to playing. Sometimes in the midst of a horrible round that feeling changes. You begin to realize how miserable you are. Right there in that moment you just need to stop, take a breath, look around and realize that you are still playing golf. You are still able to walk around and swing a club and that in itself is a blessing. The same thing takes place in life. Sometimes we just need to stop close our eyes and take a deep breath in and realize one thing. No matter what you’re going through. No matter how painful it all may be one thing is true, You’re alive. Take it all in. Every breath, every moment, even every hint of pain in your heart are all subtle reminders that you are live. No matter what comes your way you need to remember you are alive. You have a chance to right the wrongs in your life. You have a chance to continue to live. You have a chance to continue to learn from your mistakes. And that in itself is more encouragement that one should need. Every drop of sweat, every tear that has fallen, every time your pupils shook with excitement, and every time your heart hurts so bad you only want to groan in pain its all for the better.
Golf is a funny game. It is unforgiving and has no master. You can be on top of the world one moment and in the next it is the most humbling three hours of your life. Golf has that ability. But life is the same way. One minute everything is going your way and yet it all seems to shatter right in front of you the next. Maybe that is why we are so intrigued by golf. Maybe that’s the reason we play it so much is that we can relate our lives to a simple after noon on the course. But with golf as well as life we have to continue fighting. We have to keep playing. We have to keep swinging no matter what we face.
Golf is a funny game.
Life is just like that. You could be having an amazing ride in life. Everything is going your way. You feel absolutely invincible as if nothing in life could or would change that. That’s just the way it goes in life. There are ups and downs. There are the unexpected hazards that come along the way. A family member may say something to throw you off of your par performance, you may experience little bumps along the way, heart-break may be hanging and in your vision of what lies ahead you may not see it because the end goal, the little tin cup may be all that you are focused on.
So many times we are focused on that one end result. The little two putt to success. But life isn’t that easy something sometimes. Sometimes we focus on the end result and look right past the obstacles that stand in our way. When we face obstacles we try to hit around them when they are right in front of us. We think we know exactly how to get out of the situation. He try every shot in the book and try to even force ourselves out of the position we are in but it only makes it worse. Sometimes we have to just be patient and hit the ball back in play even if that means we have to hit it back or even to the side. We have to work out situations even if they mean taking a couple strokes to get back in play.
The one thing about golf is you have to forget. You can have the worse shot of your life, the ball can land two feet from you or 250 yards away caked in mud, covered by a bush right in front of a sand trap. No matter what the shot is you have to do one thing, forget. Every shot good or bad you have to forget. You have to approach the ball differently every time. You have too see the lie the ball is in and approach unlike any other shot. That is the key. You have take every swing of the club as a new opportunity to reach your goal. No matter what happens you must keep playing. The same in life. everything in your life whether good or bad must be taken as a new opportunity. Every moment in life should not be taken for granted. It should be faced with the same fire and determination as the rest of those situations. It’s hard to forget sometimes. It’s hard to forget when you look down and see the ball and see where you need to be. It’s hard to forget about that last shot when there are a line of oak trees staring you in the face. Its hard to forget when you see the pin so far away and distant. It’s so hard to forget. But sometimes we need to take a step back from the ball and look where we started from. Sometimes the tee box is close but you realize that you were closer now than when you started. That’s the beauty of golf. Whether it is an inch or three hundred yards you are always farther than when you started. Life is the same way. Even in the most difficult positions you realize that you are farther then when you started. Even though you are so far away from your goal you realize that you are still farther from where you started. Even through all the bad decisions, and current crappy situation you are still farther. Isn’t this still what it is all about? A learning process? Even when we mess up do we still not learn from it and it makes us stronger. Forgetting about the past isn’t forgetting what we have learned but forgetting the mistakes we made and pushing on forward in our goal.
Nothing in life comes easy. No golf shot is easy. The one club you constantly use did not become your best club easily. It took practice, comfort, but most importantly it took confidence. It is that natural swing you look for in all your shots. Now granted, some clubs are easier than others but at the same time it did not come without practice and many drops of sweat on the driving and well as divots made by slamming your club into the ground. It takes work. Even in life there are certain scenarios that seem easy to you. But when you look at them all you realize that they didn’t become easy just from skill or even from luck’s sake. But they each took work, they took trials and tests to make you stronger. It took tearful nights as well as heartbroken days to make you a stronger individual. It took times on your knees crying out to God to take the pain away to make you stronger. It took you at your absolute lowest moments in life to show you exactly what you needed to learn. Sometimes in those weakest moments we realize we are relying on our own strength too much and we need God to get us through these trials.
But the one thing besides forgetting about the last swing is having the right attitude. You can be Arnold Palmer but if your attitude is crappy it will affect your game. The frustration, the anger, the exhaustion, all of it plays a factor in your game. Sometimes you need to take a step back and just breath in and take a look around to realize where you are. If you are playing golf you must enjoy some aspect of it. You look forward to playing. Sometimes in the midst of a horrible round that feeling changes. You begin to realize how miserable you are. Right there in that moment you just need to stop, take a breath, look around and realize that you are still playing golf. You are still able to walk around and swing a club and that in itself is a blessing. The same thing takes place in life. Sometimes we just need to stop close our eyes and take a deep breath in and realize one thing. No matter what you’re going through. No matter how painful it all may be one thing is true, You’re alive. Take it all in. Every breath, every moment, even every hint of pain in your heart are all subtle reminders that you are live. No matter what comes your way you need to remember you are alive. You have a chance to right the wrongs in your life. You have a chance to continue to live. You have a chance to continue to learn from your mistakes. And that in itself is more encouragement that one should need. Every drop of sweat, every tear that has fallen, every time your pupils shook with excitement, and every time your heart hurts so bad you only want to groan in pain its all for the better.
Golf is a funny game. It is unforgiving and has no master. You can be on top of the world one moment and in the next it is the most humbling three hours of your life. Golf has that ability. But life is the same way. One minute everything is going your way and yet it all seems to shatter right in front of you the next. Maybe that is why we are so intrigued by golf. Maybe that’s the reason we play it so much is that we can relate our lives to a simple after noon on the course. But with golf as well as life we have to continue fighting. We have to keep playing. We have to keep swinging no matter what we face.
Golf is a funny game.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The Smell of a Pew
I recently had an experience that left me pondering for days on a recent church service I attended. It wasn’t the sermon, the community prayer, or even the worship that left me thinking. It was the people. The thought has run pervasive in my mind for days unrelenting in its fight in my mind. I have discussed it and debated it and am still left stunned by what happened and what I experienced.
I came into church on a bright Sunday morning with my mind really open to what God wanted to show me. But little did I know that it wouldn’t be any of the avenues I had thought it would be teaching me and showing me the reality that is God. I sat quietly in the back with my mother and the service began. People trickled in late and took there places in the rear of the church. At this I was shocked. I looked around and it was as if I wasn’t in church. I say this because they weren’t dressed in the “appropriate” Sunday morning attire, but at the same time neither was I. Let me explain the situation. Behind me was a single mother with her two kids that smelt as if she had just smoked three packs of cigarettes before she entered the church. On the end of my row there was a man in jeans, boots, shaved head sporting a huge beard, earrings, and a Harley Davidson leather jacket. In front of my a man look disheveled in the way he was dressed as if he had slept in clothes and come to church the same way. His breath is what captured me. You could smell the hint of alcohol on his breath. And to my left is a man that is an open homosexual. Father down the stairs and to my left is a man and a wife who are doing everything to keep their marriage alive. You could see the strain on their faces. There are those diagnosed with cancer. Where the youth sit they had the preps, the Goths, the punks and skaters, and the awkward types. There are those who I know from living there that aren’t exactly the most friendly with the law and have records. Then it hit me. This is exactly what church should look like.
This is exactly what our churches should look like. We have in our church community created this ideal of a country club mentality. “We want you…but only if you meet our certain mold and your life is cleaned up before you get here,” has become our hidden motto. This should not be. As I looked around I was taken back to the ministry that Jesus had on this earth. He did not cater to the perfect or the “godly” but to everyone. He spent his time with liars, thieves, drunks, prostitutes, the sexually immoral. This is exactly the type of environment Christ would be seen in.
In our churches today this scene is rare. We have created an army of cookie cutter Christians who cry out to God to reach the lost and soften their hard hearts. But yet we continue to act in an unforgiving way to them when they come in the church doors. We give them ignorant stares for fear that their smell may protrude if they speak, so we continue on with a half hearted fake smile. Christ said to come as you are, not come when you are cleaned up. Would Christ even be comfortable in our churches any more? We are more concerned with the color of the carpet and the decision between pews or chairs rather than the soul of the individual. The church has created this wall that gives off an undesirable feeling to the outside world. And we still wonder why we are not reaching the lost. We as a church family need to forget denominations, the looks of our clothing, or what Bible we use and instead be more concerned about getting our hands dirty and knees skinned up while we show the love of God to the world. We need to be willing to do unconventional ministry. We need to be willing to find the courage to minister to those we come into contact with and find the courage to minister to them no matter the situation or circumstance. Did it matter to Christ how someone smelled or how someone was dressed or even their life preference and the choices and the decisions they made in life. Lifestyle should not prevent us from reaching out to these people. Though we are supposed to hate the sin we are exhorted to love the sinner.
The amazing thing about God is this, Christ loved us the same right now that he did when we were drunk, when we were high, when we were fornicating. It hurt him but it did not affect the amount of love he showed for us and how much he did to rescue us from our sin and from our situations. Even when we were sinners Christ loved us. His grace and mercy covered us and saved us from the lifestyles we lived in. He saved us from ourselves and our destructive nature. He didn’t care that we were high, hung-over, or homeless. All he cared about was us and he loved us.
So this is what our pews should smell like. Our church’s should be so deliberate in showing the love of Christ that sinners, just like ourselves, are in the service. We should be smelling those smells, seeing these sights. If not then we are not doing something right. The reason that this is so important to me is that some church-goer reached out to me in the basement floor of Union Station in DC. Saw I was in pain, hurting, hung-over, disheveled, and lost and did not care about that and yet still showed me the love of Christ in the midst of my sinful life. They reached out to me and I found the love of Christ in my pew, even though I made the pew smell like alcohol and cheap rubbed off perfume. In our lives we should be living like everyone we come in contact with is not living for Christ and we should be willing to show the love of Christ to all.
So what do your pews smell like?
I came into church on a bright Sunday morning with my mind really open to what God wanted to show me. But little did I know that it wouldn’t be any of the avenues I had thought it would be teaching me and showing me the reality that is God. I sat quietly in the back with my mother and the service began. People trickled in late and took there places in the rear of the church. At this I was shocked. I looked around and it was as if I wasn’t in church. I say this because they weren’t dressed in the “appropriate” Sunday morning attire, but at the same time neither was I. Let me explain the situation. Behind me was a single mother with her two kids that smelt as if she had just smoked three packs of cigarettes before she entered the church. On the end of my row there was a man in jeans, boots, shaved head sporting a huge beard, earrings, and a Harley Davidson leather jacket. In front of my a man look disheveled in the way he was dressed as if he had slept in clothes and come to church the same way. His breath is what captured me. You could smell the hint of alcohol on his breath. And to my left is a man that is an open homosexual. Father down the stairs and to my left is a man and a wife who are doing everything to keep their marriage alive. You could see the strain on their faces. There are those diagnosed with cancer. Where the youth sit they had the preps, the Goths, the punks and skaters, and the awkward types. There are those who I know from living there that aren’t exactly the most friendly with the law and have records. Then it hit me. This is exactly what church should look like.
This is exactly what our churches should look like. We have in our church community created this ideal of a country club mentality. “We want you…but only if you meet our certain mold and your life is cleaned up before you get here,” has become our hidden motto. This should not be. As I looked around I was taken back to the ministry that Jesus had on this earth. He did not cater to the perfect or the “godly” but to everyone. He spent his time with liars, thieves, drunks, prostitutes, the sexually immoral. This is exactly the type of environment Christ would be seen in.
In our churches today this scene is rare. We have created an army of cookie cutter Christians who cry out to God to reach the lost and soften their hard hearts. But yet we continue to act in an unforgiving way to them when they come in the church doors. We give them ignorant stares for fear that their smell may protrude if they speak, so we continue on with a half hearted fake smile. Christ said to come as you are, not come when you are cleaned up. Would Christ even be comfortable in our churches any more? We are more concerned with the color of the carpet and the decision between pews or chairs rather than the soul of the individual. The church has created this wall that gives off an undesirable feeling to the outside world. And we still wonder why we are not reaching the lost. We as a church family need to forget denominations, the looks of our clothing, or what Bible we use and instead be more concerned about getting our hands dirty and knees skinned up while we show the love of God to the world. We need to be willing to do unconventional ministry. We need to be willing to find the courage to minister to those we come into contact with and find the courage to minister to them no matter the situation or circumstance. Did it matter to Christ how someone smelled or how someone was dressed or even their life preference and the choices and the decisions they made in life. Lifestyle should not prevent us from reaching out to these people. Though we are supposed to hate the sin we are exhorted to love the sinner.
The amazing thing about God is this, Christ loved us the same right now that he did when we were drunk, when we were high, when we were fornicating. It hurt him but it did not affect the amount of love he showed for us and how much he did to rescue us from our sin and from our situations. Even when we were sinners Christ loved us. His grace and mercy covered us and saved us from the lifestyles we lived in. He saved us from ourselves and our destructive nature. He didn’t care that we were high, hung-over, or homeless. All he cared about was us and he loved us.
So this is what our pews should smell like. Our church’s should be so deliberate in showing the love of Christ that sinners, just like ourselves, are in the service. We should be smelling those smells, seeing these sights. If not then we are not doing something right. The reason that this is so important to me is that some church-goer reached out to me in the basement floor of Union Station in DC. Saw I was in pain, hurting, hung-over, disheveled, and lost and did not care about that and yet still showed me the love of Christ in the midst of my sinful life. They reached out to me and I found the love of Christ in my pew, even though I made the pew smell like alcohol and cheap rubbed off perfume. In our lives we should be living like everyone we come in contact with is not living for Christ and we should be willing to show the love of Christ to all.
So what do your pews smell like?
Pray Without Ceasing
In our lives we have the tendency to become so caught up in the monotony of life and all the pressures that surround us. Stress, though it causes pain, soon becomes a close friend in this journey. Torment rages our minds and tosses our thoughts like a ship in the midst of a hurricane. Pain fillets our hearts on this slab of an unfair life. We become used to these occurrences in our life as if they are just another unfortunate even on the road we travel. We begin to almost embrace them. And in the midst of our embracing them we lose sight of the goal that Christ has placed in our life. We soon stumble off track and focus on the pain of life rather than the joy that we are placed in. I’m not saying ignore the stress, tormenting trials, and pain for in those three things we find maturity and truly discover what God has for our lives. But we lose our focus on things that are happening to us here on this earth. But there is a remedy that I have discovered in the scriptures to battle this occurrence.
Paul exhorts us to pray without ceasing in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. This alone is a daunting task for anyone. We look at it with fear and the belief that this is impossible. But it is very possible for us in our lives. In my life there are moments where the pain is so great in my heart, the stress is bearing down on me, and my life feels as if the bowels of hell are tormenting it mercilessly. In these moments I find myself seeking things in life to relieve those emotions and raise me out of my depressed state and lift me to a whole new level. But these things only temporarily lift me out of my state of dread. I find myself within a small window of time back right where I started, feeling worse than before. But I read this verse. I felt dread almost in reading it feeling that it could never be accomplished. But I decided to try. I kept reminding myself when I would feel that pain in the pit of my stomach to pray.
It helped in ways that I never expected. It not only lifted my head, but it gave me hope. The pain seemed to disappear. And it wasn’t praying “O Holy and merciful father, thou art so great…etc.” I talked to God as if he was standing there. I voiced my frustrations, my anger, my pain. It was if a weight was lifting off of my chest as I talked to God as if I was talking to a friend. I try to do this every time it feels as if my heart is getting kicked and crushed. I used this time to really connect with God, and tell him what was going on and how I truly felt. I never held anything back, he already knew my heart, he knew exactly what was going on even without me telling him. And in my prayer a funny thing happened. It was something I never expected. In my walks or sitting down or driving the focus of the prayer left its focus of myself and my pain and turned slowly to praying for someone else or something else entirely. My focus was taken off on me and was turned to God.
We have a million things that are going on in our lives at any one time. Whether it is family issues, personal relationship issues, or even spiritual issues when we give them to God we are trusting him that he knows best. Its engrained in our very human nature to sit back and allow ourselves to try and control the situations. We think that our mortal, sinful, imperfect minds knows what is best for our life. We think that certain outcomes are exactly what we need to make us feel complete. But in trusting God we are showing him that he is in total control of this situation. He in His perfect timing will bring about the best result for us.
This idea of praying all the time goes beyond prayer and creates in us a spirit that Christ desires of us. Humility. This word is scary in itself, but in trusting God we are penitent, we kneel before Him humbly asking him to take care of this situation for us. We basically are taking the “reigns of the horse” out of our hands and to take control. This is an unnerving experience in itself. Even when we are so sure of something and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is Gods will we still need to let God be God and be in control of it all. When we do this we are for sure in for a crazy wild ride that may take us to places and experiences that we never even imagined could occur before.
This is not some cure all for life. You may pray and feel relieved and in the next hour it comes back. But don’t stop praying. God is not one to forget, he has our number, he knows us by name and he cares for everything in our lives no matter the significance of it. There are times where I pray short prayers all the time to help me get through just one hour of my day. But telling God he is in control and that I trust him to do what is best for my life frees me to follow Him and put my focus on Him and not the situation.
I spoke to a friend I respect about this and he offered an interesting perspective. He asked me if I thought that this situation was being allowed by God to bring me to a place where I would grow and learn. The army has a saying that pain is weakness leaving the body. Could this situation I am in be there in my life to help not only myself grow closer to Him but the other side as well? I know for a fact that it is. And the outcome may just yet be what I want but for the time right now I trust that God has placed me here for a specific reason. I know this because of the verses following as well as preceding. The entire passage states, “Rejoice in everything. Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.” Giving thanks is easy when times are good and the sun is shining and the pain is not there. But so many times we lose sight of what God is trying to work in our lives when everything is “hunky-dory.” God sometimes needs to bring us back to a place of submission to break us and mold us into who he wants us to be. Remembering constantly that He is in control and He is the one molding us and it is not us trying to “fix” ourselves. It is Him working in us.
But we also need to give thanks in all circumstances. Now this is where the rubber meets the road. This is where it really sucks and really hurts sometimes, because we are humans. Who in their right mind gives thanks when times suck? We as believers need to be willing to do this solely for the fact that this is Gods will for our lives. Even Christ was lead into the desert to be tested. This time was no walk in the park. I had to be very painful and even difficult at times. For one it was a desert. Who likes being in a desert? No one. But it is in the desert where we are without water, without shelter, without the comforts that we enjoy and are stripped down to the bare essentials and have to rely solely on Jesus. We need to realize that sometimes we are lead into “deserts” in our own lives so that we can be stronger when we come out of them. We are lead sometimes right in the middle of the valley of the shadow of death. We feel like our heart is dying inside. We feel that we cannot live without that one piece in our lives that we thinks makes us whole. But this is where Christ teaches us to depend on him, and pursue His un-ending love for us. It is in these times that we truly need to depend on God to lead us, guide us, mold us, and teach us.
When the rough times come, and they will come, we need to remember who is in control. Give thanks in the stress, give thanks in the pain as well as the torment. We need to remember to pray constantly, giving all that is frustrating us to God for it is in Him that we find our strength for that day, for that hour, or even for that exact moment. Because we are in these times so that we can learn and grow closer to Him. And during this time you will see the problem you face dissipate and solve itself out. It may not be the result you want. But if you believe in the pain of learning and you are willing to go through the fire and not run from it you will grow and become stronger in the process. But you have to make that decision to not back down, not hide from the pain but rather face it head on. Knowing you will not give up until God moves and God works. In this fight you will find yourself, but you will find yourself in Him. For in Him we live and move and breath. Pray without ceasing and see what happens…
Paul exhorts us to pray without ceasing in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. This alone is a daunting task for anyone. We look at it with fear and the belief that this is impossible. But it is very possible for us in our lives. In my life there are moments where the pain is so great in my heart, the stress is bearing down on me, and my life feels as if the bowels of hell are tormenting it mercilessly. In these moments I find myself seeking things in life to relieve those emotions and raise me out of my depressed state and lift me to a whole new level. But these things only temporarily lift me out of my state of dread. I find myself within a small window of time back right where I started, feeling worse than before. But I read this verse. I felt dread almost in reading it feeling that it could never be accomplished. But I decided to try. I kept reminding myself when I would feel that pain in the pit of my stomach to pray.
It helped in ways that I never expected. It not only lifted my head, but it gave me hope. The pain seemed to disappear. And it wasn’t praying “O Holy and merciful father, thou art so great…etc.” I talked to God as if he was standing there. I voiced my frustrations, my anger, my pain. It was if a weight was lifting off of my chest as I talked to God as if I was talking to a friend. I try to do this every time it feels as if my heart is getting kicked and crushed. I used this time to really connect with God, and tell him what was going on and how I truly felt. I never held anything back, he already knew my heart, he knew exactly what was going on even without me telling him. And in my prayer a funny thing happened. It was something I never expected. In my walks or sitting down or driving the focus of the prayer left its focus of myself and my pain and turned slowly to praying for someone else or something else entirely. My focus was taken off on me and was turned to God.
We have a million things that are going on in our lives at any one time. Whether it is family issues, personal relationship issues, or even spiritual issues when we give them to God we are trusting him that he knows best. Its engrained in our very human nature to sit back and allow ourselves to try and control the situations. We think that our mortal, sinful, imperfect minds knows what is best for our life. We think that certain outcomes are exactly what we need to make us feel complete. But in trusting God we are showing him that he is in total control of this situation. He in His perfect timing will bring about the best result for us.
This idea of praying all the time goes beyond prayer and creates in us a spirit that Christ desires of us. Humility. This word is scary in itself, but in trusting God we are penitent, we kneel before Him humbly asking him to take care of this situation for us. We basically are taking the “reigns of the horse” out of our hands and to take control. This is an unnerving experience in itself. Even when we are so sure of something and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is Gods will we still need to let God be God and be in control of it all. When we do this we are for sure in for a crazy wild ride that may take us to places and experiences that we never even imagined could occur before.
This is not some cure all for life. You may pray and feel relieved and in the next hour it comes back. But don’t stop praying. God is not one to forget, he has our number, he knows us by name and he cares for everything in our lives no matter the significance of it. There are times where I pray short prayers all the time to help me get through just one hour of my day. But telling God he is in control and that I trust him to do what is best for my life frees me to follow Him and put my focus on Him and not the situation.
I spoke to a friend I respect about this and he offered an interesting perspective. He asked me if I thought that this situation was being allowed by God to bring me to a place where I would grow and learn. The army has a saying that pain is weakness leaving the body. Could this situation I am in be there in my life to help not only myself grow closer to Him but the other side as well? I know for a fact that it is. And the outcome may just yet be what I want but for the time right now I trust that God has placed me here for a specific reason. I know this because of the verses following as well as preceding. The entire passage states, “Rejoice in everything. Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.” Giving thanks is easy when times are good and the sun is shining and the pain is not there. But so many times we lose sight of what God is trying to work in our lives when everything is “hunky-dory.” God sometimes needs to bring us back to a place of submission to break us and mold us into who he wants us to be. Remembering constantly that He is in control and He is the one molding us and it is not us trying to “fix” ourselves. It is Him working in us.
But we also need to give thanks in all circumstances. Now this is where the rubber meets the road. This is where it really sucks and really hurts sometimes, because we are humans. Who in their right mind gives thanks when times suck? We as believers need to be willing to do this solely for the fact that this is Gods will for our lives. Even Christ was lead into the desert to be tested. This time was no walk in the park. I had to be very painful and even difficult at times. For one it was a desert. Who likes being in a desert? No one. But it is in the desert where we are without water, without shelter, without the comforts that we enjoy and are stripped down to the bare essentials and have to rely solely on Jesus. We need to realize that sometimes we are lead into “deserts” in our own lives so that we can be stronger when we come out of them. We are lead sometimes right in the middle of the valley of the shadow of death. We feel like our heart is dying inside. We feel that we cannot live without that one piece in our lives that we thinks makes us whole. But this is where Christ teaches us to depend on him, and pursue His un-ending love for us. It is in these times that we truly need to depend on God to lead us, guide us, mold us, and teach us.
When the rough times come, and they will come, we need to remember who is in control. Give thanks in the stress, give thanks in the pain as well as the torment. We need to remember to pray constantly, giving all that is frustrating us to God for it is in Him that we find our strength for that day, for that hour, or even for that exact moment. Because we are in these times so that we can learn and grow closer to Him. And during this time you will see the problem you face dissipate and solve itself out. It may not be the result you want. But if you believe in the pain of learning and you are willing to go through the fire and not run from it you will grow and become stronger in the process. But you have to make that decision to not back down, not hide from the pain but rather face it head on. Knowing you will not give up until God moves and God works. In this fight you will find yourself, but you will find yourself in Him. For in Him we live and move and breath. Pray without ceasing and see what happens…
Monday, March 7, 2011
The Masquerade
Life becomes so monotonous. The daily routines of it drag on for which seems forever. The things in life that formerly evoked emotions of joy and happiness barely make my heart speed up. My prison cell is a 9 x 10 room of white plaster walls, on which hang my loves and passion. Though the walls are filled there is nor would there ever be enough room for you. For in this prison I mentally dig lines into the walls making my fingernails bare and worn down marking the amount of time that we have been separated and apart. It feels like years but yet the time has passed by so slowly and it has only been months when decades are more appropriate.
I lay awake in my bed daydreaming of what you are doing. Futile attempts are pervasive as I try to mold the perfect picture of what truly is happening in your day-to-day life. This fear that grips my mortal soul rips the paint brush out of my hands and in the midst of my creation begins to paint its own masterpiece of what is happening in the reality in which I exist. Why must this be so hard? The one thing that I have done negative in your eyes is to have held on. That act has left a black streak as long as your eyes can see. It cannot fade no matter how hard I must cleanse it. Can we not be humans together and forgive and forget the total past that forces us to elude the will of One so much more powerful than ourselves. Are we blind to see it? Are we foolish to ignore it, or are we just more inclined to give in to the fleshly desires of the earth?
Encouraging words fall on deaf ears as I stand here in the dark corner of this masquerade ball. In my safe position I stare out at the crowd amassed in front of me as they move in unison portraying something so choreographed that the perfection is seen in every detail. Fear beckons me to stay where I am. For I am told not to move, I am pressed on every side to remain in sync with the world that is twirling around me. Nothing in this weary body is even beckoned to begin to step out and begin that fateful dance. I know where my position is. This corner has become my home. This dark feeling of loneliness and the ever watchful state has become my ruse. These two blank walls have become my companion as I stand watch hoping for the music to stop. But nothing changes. As you are twirled and dipped in front of me my mind wants to believe that your partner is a certain person. But yet I am wrong. I have been fooled by jealousy. A jealousy so gripping that it forces my jaw to clench and my teeth to wear away helplessly against each other. This has become my home and my stronghold. This mask that everyone here has become my disguise hiding the facts of what truly lies underneath.
Softly and in a faint whisper my heart pleads with my head and begs to know if this will forever be my state. A bystander as this awful dance is played out in front of me. Everyone including yourself have become hypnotized and exude an attitude of joy with every note that is played. But could this just be a misleading, false face that you put on. You have moments where you slightly turn your eyes in my direction. Hope begins to shove its way invisibly through the crowd but cant force itself through. It clamors and shoves against all opposition and right before he is able to greet me with a hug of that of an old friend, in the midst of your dance he is tripped by your outstretched leg as you continue to twirl. Defeated he crawls away in pain.
But with just the sight of the fight that he put up a new feeling arises in my soul. It breaks through every cut and bruise on my heart. It rips open the false stitches I have placed on every wound that I hold on to. It heals them to stronger than ever. It is so difficult to put into words how I feel in my corner. What was so comfortable now causes me pain. There is no solace here. These walls that I thought were my friends now stand as the only thing holding me up, and yet maybe that is all that they were good for. Maybe all they did was to prop up my weary body so that you could not see how weak my body was. Before this dance I was always a fighter, but now without you I almost am forced to give up. But this feeling inside invades every portion of my body. As if something from above has been unwillingly placed inside of my very being. It covers all the memories of a different life that I have held. Past cravings seem to fall off like tattered rags and as soon as they hit the floor are consumed by fire. Pain now is in control.
An unfamiliar sensation sweeps down my chin underneath my mask. As the tear drops off my chin and hits the floor it is as if the dictators that control the mood and feelings in the room raise the volume on their terrible song. Everyone in the room turn to see the spectacle, everyone except for you and your partner. The mood in the room changes. The music stops but you continue to dance. You continue yourself to be lead around the room aimlessly hypnotized as you continue the music in your mind.
The entirety of the room turns in my direction to see the spectacle that is unfolding in front of their very eyes as they hide behind their masks. But yet this feeling that has consumed my body like wildfire now feels like hot coals on my face. The spectacle continues in the grandest of forms with my body dropping to its knees as the pain from this mask becomes overwhelming. I claw at it, trying to stop the burning but nothing sooths the pain. This angel from my nightmares now appears as a guide behind me. Softly encouraging me to continue through this trial by fire. My energy is fleeting from my hands and arms. But through the aching pain I strain to accomplish one final task. With every ounce left in my defeated body I rip the mask right off my face. The awe sends shockwaves through the room. Gasps of shock are heard throughout the crowd amassed. But you still continue to dance though I lay on the floor finally free from this mask. For it is me that everyone is truly beginning to see. This cancer has finally left my body and with every breath I take free from its grasp my strength is silently expounded upon. I stand on my feet, disheveled, bruised, and beaten as if I have just lost a prize fight on the grandest of stages. I skip the thoughts of brushing myself or straightening my disheveled state for there is no need. Everyone is finally seeing me for who I am, open, raw, and exposed. There is not a word spoken, not a movement made except for you. You continue your seemingly never ending dance.
Steps overtake my feet and this feeling is finally recognized as unyielding determination. I feel as if I am that dark night wit dented, charred, and scratched armor as he begins his fateful walk toward the monster that awaits him. With no guarantee of my reward I continue on. With no promise of fame I trudge on like an innocent man walking towards the hang mans noose. Death of my heart and its crushing state is the only thoughts that try to break through my focus. As I approach I feel expectant of whom I will see as your partner. In my closing in on your dance murmurs begin to travel like a rushing river through the crowd gathered. But you continue to dance.
Moving closer my eyes now free of its former cover have been drawn to the fact that you are chained to this partner. With the bravery of a soldier in combat staring his enemies in front of him as he looks down the barrel of a loaded gun, I attack and rip off the mask of your partner. I feel as if I know who it will be but suddenly the face that I see and had expected to see slowly metamorphoses into a terrifying beast. But you continue to dance as you gaze into his eyes, unshaken by this horrible sight. I realize I have seen this very beast in my own life as I have danced before. I know this beast all to well. I also know his weakness, but yet the key to the chains that bind you to him is dangling from your neck, hanging over top of your heart. This beast snarls his teeth into an intimidating smile as if to mock me. The crowd continues its gaze. They have seen me and become accustomed to a certain role that I play at this ball. They know how I have acted in the past and expect it from me in the near future.
I try to push you two apart and do everything in my power to gain your attention. I pray for a miracle to occur to pull your gaze away from this beast. But Fear is unrelenting in his grasp of you. And still you continue to dance. I think of no way to separate you but I must wait for you to separate and loosen those chains that bind you.
For the time being I push my way through the crowd to come behind you. The crowd is amazed at what they see but they do no realize I do not do it for their benefit, praise, or admiration. Some try to pull me away from what I am about to try to do. But their attempts are futile for I know what my quest and goal is. Slowly and softly I place my arms on top of yours. I grasp a hold of Fear on top of your hands. For if I cannot be the one to be your partner I will dance with you as you dance with Fear. I will hold you up when your toes are stepped on and you stumble. I will be that support. Unrelenting in my quest to be with you. I feel the skin drip off my hands as Fear blows his sweet fiery breath in your direction. For I know that it will be more painful for you in the long run to be struck by it.
The ball does not continue. People are no longer desiring of a masquerade. One by one they leave. The music does not make a parade of their exit. Slowly the crowd dwindles till there are only four people in the room. You, myself, Fear, and my old friend Hope. Hope approaches slowly but resilient in his track. Un shaken from the looks of dismay that Fear brings. Hope binds himself to me and enters my own body.
A warm feeling passes through my jacket and hits my skin. Again it hits and the tears are there. You reach for the key but freeze and grasp Fear again tighter than ever. But with its grasp my grasps remains. Not pulling you from fear but moving along with you in this awful dance. For I will not let you face this alone but will continue to be that dark knight. That silent guardian, that ever watchful protector. There to encourage, support, uplift, and if necessary lead. But until that day I remain where I am.
And you continue to dance…
I lay awake in my bed daydreaming of what you are doing. Futile attempts are pervasive as I try to mold the perfect picture of what truly is happening in your day-to-day life. This fear that grips my mortal soul rips the paint brush out of my hands and in the midst of my creation begins to paint its own masterpiece of what is happening in the reality in which I exist. Why must this be so hard? The one thing that I have done negative in your eyes is to have held on. That act has left a black streak as long as your eyes can see. It cannot fade no matter how hard I must cleanse it. Can we not be humans together and forgive and forget the total past that forces us to elude the will of One so much more powerful than ourselves. Are we blind to see it? Are we foolish to ignore it, or are we just more inclined to give in to the fleshly desires of the earth?
Encouraging words fall on deaf ears as I stand here in the dark corner of this masquerade ball. In my safe position I stare out at the crowd amassed in front of me as they move in unison portraying something so choreographed that the perfection is seen in every detail. Fear beckons me to stay where I am. For I am told not to move, I am pressed on every side to remain in sync with the world that is twirling around me. Nothing in this weary body is even beckoned to begin to step out and begin that fateful dance. I know where my position is. This corner has become my home. This dark feeling of loneliness and the ever watchful state has become my ruse. These two blank walls have become my companion as I stand watch hoping for the music to stop. But nothing changes. As you are twirled and dipped in front of me my mind wants to believe that your partner is a certain person. But yet I am wrong. I have been fooled by jealousy. A jealousy so gripping that it forces my jaw to clench and my teeth to wear away helplessly against each other. This has become my home and my stronghold. This mask that everyone here has become my disguise hiding the facts of what truly lies underneath.
Softly and in a faint whisper my heart pleads with my head and begs to know if this will forever be my state. A bystander as this awful dance is played out in front of me. Everyone including yourself have become hypnotized and exude an attitude of joy with every note that is played. But could this just be a misleading, false face that you put on. You have moments where you slightly turn your eyes in my direction. Hope begins to shove its way invisibly through the crowd but cant force itself through. It clamors and shoves against all opposition and right before he is able to greet me with a hug of that of an old friend, in the midst of your dance he is tripped by your outstretched leg as you continue to twirl. Defeated he crawls away in pain.
But with just the sight of the fight that he put up a new feeling arises in my soul. It breaks through every cut and bruise on my heart. It rips open the false stitches I have placed on every wound that I hold on to. It heals them to stronger than ever. It is so difficult to put into words how I feel in my corner. What was so comfortable now causes me pain. There is no solace here. These walls that I thought were my friends now stand as the only thing holding me up, and yet maybe that is all that they were good for. Maybe all they did was to prop up my weary body so that you could not see how weak my body was. Before this dance I was always a fighter, but now without you I almost am forced to give up. But this feeling inside invades every portion of my body. As if something from above has been unwillingly placed inside of my very being. It covers all the memories of a different life that I have held. Past cravings seem to fall off like tattered rags and as soon as they hit the floor are consumed by fire. Pain now is in control.
An unfamiliar sensation sweeps down my chin underneath my mask. As the tear drops off my chin and hits the floor it is as if the dictators that control the mood and feelings in the room raise the volume on their terrible song. Everyone in the room turn to see the spectacle, everyone except for you and your partner. The mood in the room changes. The music stops but you continue to dance. You continue yourself to be lead around the room aimlessly hypnotized as you continue the music in your mind.
The entirety of the room turns in my direction to see the spectacle that is unfolding in front of their very eyes as they hide behind their masks. But yet this feeling that has consumed my body like wildfire now feels like hot coals on my face. The spectacle continues in the grandest of forms with my body dropping to its knees as the pain from this mask becomes overwhelming. I claw at it, trying to stop the burning but nothing sooths the pain. This angel from my nightmares now appears as a guide behind me. Softly encouraging me to continue through this trial by fire. My energy is fleeting from my hands and arms. But through the aching pain I strain to accomplish one final task. With every ounce left in my defeated body I rip the mask right off my face. The awe sends shockwaves through the room. Gasps of shock are heard throughout the crowd amassed. But you still continue to dance though I lay on the floor finally free from this mask. For it is me that everyone is truly beginning to see. This cancer has finally left my body and with every breath I take free from its grasp my strength is silently expounded upon. I stand on my feet, disheveled, bruised, and beaten as if I have just lost a prize fight on the grandest of stages. I skip the thoughts of brushing myself or straightening my disheveled state for there is no need. Everyone is finally seeing me for who I am, open, raw, and exposed. There is not a word spoken, not a movement made except for you. You continue your seemingly never ending dance.
Steps overtake my feet and this feeling is finally recognized as unyielding determination. I feel as if I am that dark night wit dented, charred, and scratched armor as he begins his fateful walk toward the monster that awaits him. With no guarantee of my reward I continue on. With no promise of fame I trudge on like an innocent man walking towards the hang mans noose. Death of my heart and its crushing state is the only thoughts that try to break through my focus. As I approach I feel expectant of whom I will see as your partner. In my closing in on your dance murmurs begin to travel like a rushing river through the crowd gathered. But you continue to dance.
Moving closer my eyes now free of its former cover have been drawn to the fact that you are chained to this partner. With the bravery of a soldier in combat staring his enemies in front of him as he looks down the barrel of a loaded gun, I attack and rip off the mask of your partner. I feel as if I know who it will be but suddenly the face that I see and had expected to see slowly metamorphoses into a terrifying beast. But you continue to dance as you gaze into his eyes, unshaken by this horrible sight. I realize I have seen this very beast in my own life as I have danced before. I know this beast all to well. I also know his weakness, but yet the key to the chains that bind you to him is dangling from your neck, hanging over top of your heart. This beast snarls his teeth into an intimidating smile as if to mock me. The crowd continues its gaze. They have seen me and become accustomed to a certain role that I play at this ball. They know how I have acted in the past and expect it from me in the near future.
I try to push you two apart and do everything in my power to gain your attention. I pray for a miracle to occur to pull your gaze away from this beast. But Fear is unrelenting in his grasp of you. And still you continue to dance. I think of no way to separate you but I must wait for you to separate and loosen those chains that bind you.
For the time being I push my way through the crowd to come behind you. The crowd is amazed at what they see but they do no realize I do not do it for their benefit, praise, or admiration. Some try to pull me away from what I am about to try to do. But their attempts are futile for I know what my quest and goal is. Slowly and softly I place my arms on top of yours. I grasp a hold of Fear on top of your hands. For if I cannot be the one to be your partner I will dance with you as you dance with Fear. I will hold you up when your toes are stepped on and you stumble. I will be that support. Unrelenting in my quest to be with you. I feel the skin drip off my hands as Fear blows his sweet fiery breath in your direction. For I know that it will be more painful for you in the long run to be struck by it.
The ball does not continue. People are no longer desiring of a masquerade. One by one they leave. The music does not make a parade of their exit. Slowly the crowd dwindles till there are only four people in the room. You, myself, Fear, and my old friend Hope. Hope approaches slowly but resilient in his track. Un shaken from the looks of dismay that Fear brings. Hope binds himself to me and enters my own body.
A warm feeling passes through my jacket and hits my skin. Again it hits and the tears are there. You reach for the key but freeze and grasp Fear again tighter than ever. But with its grasp my grasps remains. Not pulling you from fear but moving along with you in this awful dance. For I will not let you face this alone but will continue to be that dark knight. That silent guardian, that ever watchful protector. There to encourage, support, uplift, and if necessary lead. But until that day I remain where I am.
And you continue to dance…
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Wisdom and Understanding
In today’s culture we seek wisdom and understanding anywhere we can find it. We are constantly looking for it and creating new venues to discover it. In this high-speed society we have the ability to find anything we need with the touch of a finger. It is so normal of us to seek wisdom and understanding. But it is difficult to seek true wisdom, the type of wisdom that only comes from God. We exist in a society where humanity has rejected the reality of God. Our world today with every chance they get try to ignore that not does God exist but that also He is irrelevant and a crutch for the weak and helpless. The bible has good morals to live by but yet not a text to be regarded as sacred and holy. We seek wisdom and understanding in the arenas that we are most comfortable with and the ones that please us the most. Instead of truly seeking wisdom we seek truth to match up with the emotions we are feeling. We search for it in sayings and limericks. We delve deep into the lyrics of the music we listen to trying to evoke the mood we are in and the words that we are too weak to express. We search out guru’s and read book after book after book to find understanding. We are more concerned with the next book in the Oprah book club to help us discover what truly is understanding of this life. We as humans try to have understanding and wisdom revealed to us by seeking out mediums and psychics to reveal us the way to go. Very simply put; in our sick culture we are dying physically and spiritually in a futile attempt to seek out what is truly wisdom and truly understanding.
I have fell victim to this search myself. I have been one of those people who seeks out what wisdom truly is and how I can apply understanding in my own life. I sought it out in the very forms that were listed above. I took it a step farther and sought out narcotics and alcohol to try and gain some insight to the spiritual world that I had been neglecting. I searched and searched and yet in the end felt empty and dry and back where I had started. It was as if I was in a circular motion with the way I was living my life. Every day seemed like the same thing over and over. It came to the point where I didn’t even feel alive. I felt rejected and down. But this could have all been prevented. I read proverbs chapter 1. In the opening verses of this book Solomon wisely states the real key to true spiritual understanding and insight. He says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom but fools reject discipline.
Fearing the Lord. A concept I’m still unsure of. I know I fear God but more in a sense of “ooo, if I do not do this God will punish me and make my life a living hell.” But the fear of the Lord that is talked of here is completely different. It is more of a reverent spirit for the Lord and what he wants to do through our lives. It is a penitent spirit. One of humility that must be pervasive in our everyday lives. When we try to do it on our own we fail miserably. When we seek out wisdom and understanding we fail or find the wrong encouragement or advice and completely miss out on the truth. We have a choice to accept the wisdom God gives, heed its words, and apply the truth in our lives and decision-making. But yet so many times I find myself ignoring the basic truths I know from the word, from my parents, and even from friends. I seek out my own path so often and try to make my own way in this life. But why? Is it my human nature or something much more ingrained inside of me? Why is my life so much more complicated and difficult than other Christians I see around me? Is this God’s way of leading me into difficult situations to force me to grow and mature so that I can better be prepared for the work that God has for me? It seems so unfair. If one is called to greatness does that mean a life of misery and difficulty before they enter into what God has truly called them to? I have heard it said time and time again those in the favor of the Lord will truly discover wisdom and begin to gain understanding into the vast expanse of the Lord.
I feel that the choices we make in life have something to play off of. But then the idea of prevenient grace comes into mind. The idea that God loved me while I was drinking and lying in a gutter wasted beyond all belief. The idea that while I was off living wildly and out of control that God has His hand and calling on my life while I was rejecting it. It is a sobering thought that through all the stupid things I have done, all the booze, the drugs, the loose women, and wild parties that God was standing right next to me while I was doing these things. And yet through seeing it all he still loved me and still wanted me. He still cared about me. And even though I have turned my life over to him I still have the tendencies to make dumb choices and allow them to affect me and influence me. Yet through it all Christ still loves me. No matter what I do the fact remains that He gave his life for me, and all the things I have done and still have yet to do. But where do the blessings come in? Must there be a dry and a “dark ages” period in my life where things are all confused and twisted? Where very little seems to go right. Or am I focusing solely on the blessings I feel I should have and not seeing the entire picture. It just does not seem fair some times.
I have fell victim to this search myself. I have been one of those people who seeks out what wisdom truly is and how I can apply understanding in my own life. I sought it out in the very forms that were listed above. I took it a step farther and sought out narcotics and alcohol to try and gain some insight to the spiritual world that I had been neglecting. I searched and searched and yet in the end felt empty and dry and back where I had started. It was as if I was in a circular motion with the way I was living my life. Every day seemed like the same thing over and over. It came to the point where I didn’t even feel alive. I felt rejected and down. But this could have all been prevented. I read proverbs chapter 1. In the opening verses of this book Solomon wisely states the real key to true spiritual understanding and insight. He says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom but fools reject discipline.
Fearing the Lord. A concept I’m still unsure of. I know I fear God but more in a sense of “ooo, if I do not do this God will punish me and make my life a living hell.” But the fear of the Lord that is talked of here is completely different. It is more of a reverent spirit for the Lord and what he wants to do through our lives. It is a penitent spirit. One of humility that must be pervasive in our everyday lives. When we try to do it on our own we fail miserably. When we seek out wisdom and understanding we fail or find the wrong encouragement or advice and completely miss out on the truth. We have a choice to accept the wisdom God gives, heed its words, and apply the truth in our lives and decision-making. But yet so many times I find myself ignoring the basic truths I know from the word, from my parents, and even from friends. I seek out my own path so often and try to make my own way in this life. But why? Is it my human nature or something much more ingrained inside of me? Why is my life so much more complicated and difficult than other Christians I see around me? Is this God’s way of leading me into difficult situations to force me to grow and mature so that I can better be prepared for the work that God has for me? It seems so unfair. If one is called to greatness does that mean a life of misery and difficulty before they enter into what God has truly called them to? I have heard it said time and time again those in the favor of the Lord will truly discover wisdom and begin to gain understanding into the vast expanse of the Lord.
I feel that the choices we make in life have something to play off of. But then the idea of prevenient grace comes into mind. The idea that God loved me while I was drinking and lying in a gutter wasted beyond all belief. The idea that while I was off living wildly and out of control that God has His hand and calling on my life while I was rejecting it. It is a sobering thought that through all the stupid things I have done, all the booze, the drugs, the loose women, and wild parties that God was standing right next to me while I was doing these things. And yet through seeing it all he still loved me and still wanted me. He still cared about me. And even though I have turned my life over to him I still have the tendencies to make dumb choices and allow them to affect me and influence me. Yet through it all Christ still loves me. No matter what I do the fact remains that He gave his life for me, and all the things I have done and still have yet to do. But where do the blessings come in? Must there be a dry and a “dark ages” period in my life where things are all confused and twisted? Where very little seems to go right. Or am I focusing solely on the blessings I feel I should have and not seeing the entire picture. It just does not seem fair some times.
Coasters In Life
Roller Coasters have always been a passion of mine. The thrill of flying up and down a steel track. A car going nearly to the brink of flying off of the edge, being thrown in your seat. Screaming at the top of your lungs, begging to stop but yet you still want the ride to never end. But my favorite part has always been the final stop before you roll into the station. The little abrupt jolt is so definite, so consumed with emotions. It’s my favorite part to look around and see the faces of the people that just experienced the ride with you. Hair messed up by the wind; disoriented and wide-eyed you can tell just by looking at this group of people that they had just experienced something amazing. Some people in the car are laughing and carrying on, and some still have their hands gripped tight against the handlebars and restraints.
I have noticed the past couple of weeks that life is so similar to that roller coaster ride. When you’re in a roller coaster line you always see that one little kid terrified to get on the ride. We are the same way. We are terrified to really get on the ride of life with God. We know it’s going to be crazy just because of what we have heard from those around us. We start out on this “high” spiritually then comes this jolting event that just seems to bring us down this huge drop and life just picks up in speed. It’s all we can do to hold on to the faith we have but yet God just wants us to trust Him and enjoy the journey. We throw up our hands in surrender. It feels like we have no control over what is happening. We are getting tossed around in our life with no idea what is coming around the next major curve in our life. We are flipped around and corkscrewed through this journey but yet me may try to take control but cant, we have placed the entire journey in Gods hands.
There are times in life when everything is on an even keel and life is smooth then all of a sudden the journey becomes rough and bumpy and everything is coming at us all at once. Just like in a coaster where there are these moments of peace and tranquility, then all of a sudden there are so many twists and turns that it is hard to keep our equilibrium on track. That’s where I am in this life right now. It seems like everything in this journey is being turned upside down all around me. What I thought was coming next didn’t happen. There are so many bumps and bruises that show up on my heart from being tossed around in my seat that I look like I just am halfway through a major prizefight. It’s barely enough to keep my head on straight much less keep my head up to see what’s next. But maybe that’s what God is trying to teach me. That even though I want to grip the handlebars with all the strength that I have when my head is down, I should lift my hands up even when I cant lift my head. That I should surrender and give up trying to figure out life all by myself and trust that he knows what he is doing. That even though I do not know what lies beyond the next turn I know and need to trust that he has my best intentions in mind though I don’t see it at the time nor do I agree with the direction that my journey is headed in I have to trust.
I hate trusting. It puts me in a position where I'm out on a limb vulnerable with someone holding the chainsaw in one hand and a ladder in the other. It is there decision on which one they will choose. Will they pick to come up and rescue me from my plight and bring me joy, safety, and comfort? Or will they turn the chainsaw on and cut me from my vulnerable state and leave me to hurtle to the ground and be left in a bloody, painful, dying heap. Even when it comes to God I have hard time trusting. Even though he has proven it in the past, it is so hard. I feel like I know what is best for my life, and what will be the right thing, place, and people for my life. But I don’t have control. Whether I trust him or not I don’t have control. So I submit, but in my submission are my intentions worthy? Do I solely submit because I know it is what God wants of me, and it is what I need to do to be used by him? Or do I submit because I know that every time I take control of my life I mess it up so much worse than it already was? Is this second intention so bad? I mean does it really matter as long as you’re submitting. Something I guess I will find out in the end.
Then up ahead in my journey I know that there is an end coming. No matter how thrilling the ride has been or how amazing I have felt during it, it will come to an end eventually. What will be my expression when I come to that abrupt stop at the station? Will I be laughing and joking or will I still be grasping the handlebars with all the life in me. I have had a phrase that a friend said to me and since he died I have really tried to apply it to my every situation. I don’t want to live a normal life, when my journey in this life I want to enter heaven sliding on my butt kicking and screaming. Jump up dust myself off and say, “man what a heck of a ride, lets do it again.” That is what I want to happen but only time and experience will dictate what my reaction is. But I can live in a way that I give the reaction that I truly want to give. For now all I can do is embrace the “suck” and keep pushing on in my life no matter what curves life throws at me.
I have noticed the past couple of weeks that life is so similar to that roller coaster ride. When you’re in a roller coaster line you always see that one little kid terrified to get on the ride. We are the same way. We are terrified to really get on the ride of life with God. We know it’s going to be crazy just because of what we have heard from those around us. We start out on this “high” spiritually then comes this jolting event that just seems to bring us down this huge drop and life just picks up in speed. It’s all we can do to hold on to the faith we have but yet God just wants us to trust Him and enjoy the journey. We throw up our hands in surrender. It feels like we have no control over what is happening. We are getting tossed around in our life with no idea what is coming around the next major curve in our life. We are flipped around and corkscrewed through this journey but yet me may try to take control but cant, we have placed the entire journey in Gods hands.
There are times in life when everything is on an even keel and life is smooth then all of a sudden the journey becomes rough and bumpy and everything is coming at us all at once. Just like in a coaster where there are these moments of peace and tranquility, then all of a sudden there are so many twists and turns that it is hard to keep our equilibrium on track. That’s where I am in this life right now. It seems like everything in this journey is being turned upside down all around me. What I thought was coming next didn’t happen. There are so many bumps and bruises that show up on my heart from being tossed around in my seat that I look like I just am halfway through a major prizefight. It’s barely enough to keep my head on straight much less keep my head up to see what’s next. But maybe that’s what God is trying to teach me. That even though I want to grip the handlebars with all the strength that I have when my head is down, I should lift my hands up even when I cant lift my head. That I should surrender and give up trying to figure out life all by myself and trust that he knows what he is doing. That even though I do not know what lies beyond the next turn I know and need to trust that he has my best intentions in mind though I don’t see it at the time nor do I agree with the direction that my journey is headed in I have to trust.
I hate trusting. It puts me in a position where I'm out on a limb vulnerable with someone holding the chainsaw in one hand and a ladder in the other. It is there decision on which one they will choose. Will they pick to come up and rescue me from my plight and bring me joy, safety, and comfort? Or will they turn the chainsaw on and cut me from my vulnerable state and leave me to hurtle to the ground and be left in a bloody, painful, dying heap. Even when it comes to God I have hard time trusting. Even though he has proven it in the past, it is so hard. I feel like I know what is best for my life, and what will be the right thing, place, and people for my life. But I don’t have control. Whether I trust him or not I don’t have control. So I submit, but in my submission are my intentions worthy? Do I solely submit because I know it is what God wants of me, and it is what I need to do to be used by him? Or do I submit because I know that every time I take control of my life I mess it up so much worse than it already was? Is this second intention so bad? I mean does it really matter as long as you’re submitting. Something I guess I will find out in the end.
Then up ahead in my journey I know that there is an end coming. No matter how thrilling the ride has been or how amazing I have felt during it, it will come to an end eventually. What will be my expression when I come to that abrupt stop at the station? Will I be laughing and joking or will I still be grasping the handlebars with all the life in me. I have had a phrase that a friend said to me and since he died I have really tried to apply it to my every situation. I don’t want to live a normal life, when my journey in this life I want to enter heaven sliding on my butt kicking and screaming. Jump up dust myself off and say, “man what a heck of a ride, lets do it again.” That is what I want to happen but only time and experience will dictate what my reaction is. But I can live in a way that I give the reaction that I truly want to give. For now all I can do is embrace the “suck” and keep pushing on in my life no matter what curves life throws at me.
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