The Heart of a Champion

Well the Patriot men did it again...the ever elusive three peat as east regional champions. It was an intense game...one i will never forget for as long as i live. They played hard and almost let the game slip away but in the end they emerged victorious. Their victory made me think. As i looked around the room i saw their devastated fans, in utter shock at what had just occurred. I saw my friends and soccer teammates who all they can think about is their chance to hoist that championship banner. Then i began to ponder what really is a true champion? Is it someone who wins the championship game, or is it the attitude of that player who plays their heart out whether they are down by 2 or 20 till the end of the game? Is it just merely a title or is it a mindset. My soccer captain once told me that the heart of a true champion is someone who will train till they are sick and give it everything they have even when no one is looking. This mindset is one i don't have. I wish i could be the best but is it really wanting to be the best or a mere desire to have everyone see me as the best? If it is just a mere desire to be seen as the best then i have missed the mark of a true champion.
I have felt the glory of championships. I have kissed state championship trophy's and drank gatorade from the bowl of the national championship cup. i have screamed my head off and cried when my favorite college and pro teams have won the championship game. But never in my life have i wanted something so much and yet it been so elusive. The heart of a champion. It isn't the fact that i haven't wanted a championship but yet i have wanted one for all the wrong reasons. Though this seems like it is not such a big deal in a sense it is. It plays on every emotion that i have. It plays on the very nature of who i am. And that is that i need some one, anyone to see me as the best. It isn't the easiest thing for someone to do. They must fight for it and hold it close when they attain it and in the end remain ever so humble.
It goes to the root of who i am. The desire to be a military officer and look stunning in my uniform and have the bars on my shoulder. But if it is only a desire for my past life to see what the future has made out of the ashes then what are those bars on my shoulder worth. They are just plain golden threads woven into a shape that stands for nothing. Yes, people may respect what it stands for but really what are they good for if they do not mean anything to me. If they stand for nothing to me than what does that say about the core of who i am. It shows that i spent so much time developing someone, an image, just to impress and not to be a guiding light and beacon of hope as a military officer should be. The simple idea of dog tags mean nothing and just show the world that i serve my country. But what do they mean to me? Are they simple pieces of aluminum stamped with my personal information to show who i am and identify my dead and rotting corpse? Or do they serve as weights around my neck to show me the undying responsibility and duty i have to not only this country but to the world.
I am beginning to evaluate all that is important to who i am as a person but as well as who am i to the world. My name does not have to be great. I have no duty to make my families name one of distinction and prominence. I have a duty to my calling first to God and following that calling will make me great and will allow me the distinction that he alone desires.
So i strive for that. I strive for the true heart of a champion. One who never backs down from a fight or a challenge. And in this quest one thing is clear...i will come out stronger than i was before. And that means more to me than one could ever know.