Where my heart is...

The crisp fall air was gently nipping at the tips of my nose and ears. Geese heading south to warmer climates we heard overhead. Fall was definitely in the air. Chatter about this years top costumes echoed through the commons. Giggles were preceded by jokes, taunts, and playful banter. School is in full swing. The freshly fallen leaves were lightly crunching under my feet as I became aware of something. I am in a completely foreign environment. The sounds of fall could not dim the sound of pain crying out in my heart. Though my body is physically in one place my mind, heart, and soul are in another.

My peaceful walk to go eat was interrupted by the vibration of my iPhone. I wanted to quickly check my email so I could continue to warm my hands. Then it hit me. It was like a bolt of lightning. It came out of nowhere with an intensity that I had never experienced in the past. This feeling was like a burning in my chest. My throat closed like an asthmatic. I knew exactly what I was staring at. My eyes scanned the email back and forth. It streamed over every aspect of the picture to see if the face is one I know. The report of another fallen soldier allowed my heart to sink deeper into my chest.

Though I am not in that unit right now physically, my heart and soul is attached to these soldiers currently deployed in Afghanistan. Its like being in two places at once. The focus is hard to keep on the here and now where I am but rather is focused on where I am not. Its like being in love with that perfect person, your perfect other and yet they are thousands of miles away. Time slows down and at times seems to pause. People begin jeering and giving you false advice to just hang it all up and turn it in. But this love is something you cannot let go.

Every morning when I wake up my mind already turns to my future. It’s the heavenly goal and responsibility that has been placed on my life. As I walk into chapel I quietly tap the glass containing the pictures of alumni serving in the armed forces as an act of support and prayer. Every time my ears capture the subtle clinking sound of my ring against the glass, I am transported to a mountain range far away and to a time in the future. I can hear the distant sounds of battle raging, I can feel the ground shaking under the immense weight of explosions, and I even can see the ultimate fear staring me back in the face from the soldiers placed under my care. I see their pain, hear their hope, and see their perseverance. I already am so aware of the frustrations that plague them. Though I am physically in one place I can sense their pain of loss with every obituary posting I read.

It’s a sense of brotherhood and an eternal fraternity that no human hand can break. It’s a belonging to something higher and more important than you that is tangible. It’s a duty that we are bound to by the ties of something invisible that grips us at our very soul. This sense of finishing the job the right way at all costs possible to help others. Every day I spend on this side of the line only increases my desire to be on the other side. It is why I was made and designed. This purpose grips me. It completely grips every fiber that is in my body. It keeps me focused on the task at hand but yet distracts me every free minute I get. Though I don’t want to go through this life alone, this calling of service is enough to keep me satisfied.

As my walk continues I notice something about my demeanor. It is that of a defeated fighter. Though he has one more round of miracles inside of him he is left gripping on the ropes for safety. He is faced with a choice. Does he stop fighting completely or does he return to his feet though battered, bruised, and bloody and continue the fight. With one goal in my I release the ropes I hold onto in my life. Though I may stagger, get hit, or even stumble to my knees the driving force, this raging beast, this calling inside beckons me to continue forward no matter the cost.

Lonely, confused, and lost I continue my walk. With the fall foliage still crackling underneath my feet a tear begins is slow and tumultuous journey down my cheek. In my minds eye, I can already see my Nike's being transformed into combat boots. This soft, leaf-covered grass replaced by colorless desert clay. The view of buildings on this campus twisted into forsaken snow capped mountain ranges. The tear in my eye feels more like sweat with each passing moment. The weight and pressure of succeeding slowly becomes a Kevlar vest and a rucksack as my iPhone transforms into a rifle. I see the end so clearly and yet for a second I am captivated and moved into the same area where my mind, heart, and soul is. For that split moment in time I am where I have been called to go, for that split moment I feel complete and lacking in nothing. But as that second fades and reality replaces the fantasy in my eyes I remember what my mission is. Finish well. When all else is fading away, finish well. When my present world is beating me down and I am up against the ropes I know I can and will spring to my feet and finish well.

Mommas Boy

Swollen, bleeding, crying in the front lawn of a friend’s house I laid there helpless and totally unaware of my surroundings. Friends began running for help. I knew then my career was in jeopardy. This was it. My dreams were lying on the ground and slipping away with each tear that fell. From the top of the hill at the house I heard a very familiar voice. “Get up, YOUR FINE!” It was a familiar phrase that sounded very peculiar to those listening. Shaking and crying I could barely walk. “STOP THAT LIMPING, YOUR FINE!” Even though I knew I wasn’t I squared my shoulders back, wiped the tears away and walked the most normal that I could to the top of the house. Even though I wasn't fine and had a tumor in my leg mom made sure I was strong and didn't show pain.

That was my momma, that was the way she raised me. Just because she was a single parent she set it upon herself to make sure I was not another statistic of a single parent situation. Life wasn’t easy, but there was always food on the table. I may not have had a dad around all the time growing up, but I had the most powerful thing; a praying mother.

My mother is the strongest woman I know and will ever know. The product of a strict Christian family, daughter of a woman of God who dropped to her knees before she complained even up till she passed. Her father was a man who knew what the essence of work truly was, a man who drove a school bus and cleaned the church for work even with his life long fight. The sister to the town hellion who drove his car too fast and drank liquor even faster. Her sister was a God fearing woman who took the Bible literally. Her other brother the proud business man who even after his wife died still worked for the state even though he could have retired and been comfortable. Raised in the lower income side of town in the foothills of Blue Ridge Mountains she was the first in her family to go to college. She not only got one degree but two. She worked herself through college and went on to be a missionary in the Middle East and a very influential minister in the Assemblies of God. She’s survived lung cancer as well as breast cancer and is still alive and kicking. Nothing can slow my momma down. Even during radiation this woman still ran three weekends of retreats for girls. She barely has said the word “No” in her life when it comes to helping others. Money has never been an object or a distraction. Excess is not in her vocabulary. She would rather stay at home and read a fiction book about the Amish with NASCAR on then go out and spend an afternoon at the mall. Racism has never shaded her eyes and judgment towards is never on her lips.

She’s the lady who has the bucket list which number one item is to see her son succeed and follow Jesus only topping going to her first NASCAR race. She loves country music but the Gaithers still fill our video cabinet. Shes proud but you would never know it. Momma never agreed with alcohol, tobacco, or a racaus lifestyle but rather dropped to her knees, prayed and supported her only child as he battled through that vicious fight. Shes the type of mom that would sing hymns when you were sick to comfort you and even at six in the morning as she gets ready for work. Late is not something defined by my mom. Three hours early is an understatement. She always drove me to practice and dealt with the attitude I had after a loss or even a broken bone. We had our fights and she never was afraid to slap me back to the right tone of voice. Mom is a woman of God. That is the only thing that she will admit to.

Momma raised me to be a man even when no man was around. She taught me how to be respectful to girls and checked me when I was wrong. She always has given the best advice on potential girlfriends, and when those relationships are over she is always the one on the other end of the phone still saying her favorite line “Your fine.” She raised me on hymns and classic TV Shows. She still cant stand when someone cusses on TV even in sports. She cried when I left home and still is there at the door when I come back. She tears up when she sees the flag and is proud of her son for defending it.

Even as I turn the page to the age of 23 I still have no shame nor will I ever as I am called a momma’s boy. Still calls me her baby boy even when I tower over her. Still is the one I call when im sick, having a rough day, or even when the Caps win another hockey game. She’ll surprise you with her tough as nails attitude and confuse you when she is the sweetest woman in the world. Even though she is my momma im still not embarrassed to go on our “dates” together. Whether if its meeting up for lunch after church or a hockey game after work. Not ashamed of giving my momma a hug. Even at 23 ill be mommas boy, and im proud of it. She is my inspiration and encouragement even when she is not around. Though I don’t see it I know she is on her knees at night praying for me even though I have given her every one of her gray hairs she tries to cover up with coloring.

My mom lived out the verse in proverbs that says to train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. Sometimes before I do something stupid I think not about what would jesus say, but rather what will momma do if im stupid and I embarrass her. I swear, when I was being a hellion I still was the only hell momma ever raised. Momma did the best she could with what she had when she raised me. But it will always be more than I ever deserved.

Momma is my best friend and im never gonna change that. So heres to you mom, my hero, my inspiration, my joy, pain, and sometimes frustration. Love you mom!

A Decade Later...

A Decade Later...

It was a day of terror. It was a moment in country's history that has defined and shaped our entire culture and society. Everything we do these days has been by some type of affect from what happened on that fateful day. September 11, 2001 will forever be engrained in the minds of those who witnessed it and live through the hours of that day. The results of that day are burnt by a torch in our minds eye as if we are never to forget what happened that day. We can remember where we were, What we were doing, as well as the emotion and the fear that we faced.

Though it has been a decade since that day of infamy recalling, reliving, and seeing the results of that fateful day bring up visions of seeing almost hell itself all over again. Though it has almost been a decade the pain and the emotions still can be seen fighting its way to the eyes surface in every American as they fight back tears of that day. The fear and uncertainty still haunts us like a reoccurring nightmare. We, for the first time since Pearl Harbor realized that our oceans no longer protected us. We were truly vulnerable. Everyone felt the uncertainty of it all. Though they were our leaders they were still at the forefront humans and felt the same fear that we felt that fateful day. No bunker, no vast open secure ranch, and no climb of Air Force One could ever escape the fear that was felt on that fateful day. Our words would be matched with stuttering as we watched in horror as people jumped out of the still standing towers to their deaths, and there was nothing we could do to change it or help them.

Some of the greatest cities on the face of the earth were now modern day warzones. We had been attacked by a cowering faceless enemy. Everyday Americans became filled with a bloodthirst desire for revenge and justice. Workers at Ground Zero on 9/12 were yelling and chanting "Go Get em George!" Cries of "USA" became a standard at every professional sporting game. Flags were unable to be purchased. The militaries numbers soared with enlistments of young men and women looking to be apart of that gallant fight for justice of the horrid crimes that had been committed. It was impossible to anticipate the days ahead, the emotional, consequential, and spiritual differening aspects that would be involved in the coming years as a result of that day.

As we screamed for justice and reprisal against our enemies, our nation answered with a blistering show of military strength. President Bush's words of his comments at Ground Zero had Come to fruition "I hear you, america hears you, the world hears you and the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us real soon." And these words given while standing on top of the rubble of a fire truck soon became one of the greatest speeches during this decade. Shock and Awe became a household term. We had entered a new type of fight. It was a new uncertain war. Our government didn't care about the politics and banter between parties, they united together and sent us to fight a brutal, unrelenting enemy.

Ten years later the world has changed. American policy has changed. We are vigilant, prepared, and willing to defend our borders at all costs. Some inconveniences were gained to secure our protection and safety. But taking off our shoes at an airport as well as waiting a few more minutes in line for our safety is worth it. Ten years we had searched for the leader of a brutal, fanatical, bloodthirsty terrorist organization. We had searched for that face of our faceless enemy that had attacked us...and no longer is it a faceless coward but yet a dead one resting under the weight and might of the ocean as if the weight and might of the arm of the american fortitude laid upon it. Even though we were in the mid of a economic crisis, a poor job market, two wars, sliding wall street investments, and a poor housing market the death of Bin Laden gave America a sense of closure it had not felt since the end of World War II. People poured into the streets, pro war as well as war protestors alike. This had given America a much needed shot in the arm. We had completed an undertaking of great magnitude. It gave Americans hope that carried over into every aspect of everyday life.

A decade later from that fateful day, we truly as Americans have a lot to be thankful for as well as a lot to remember. We as a country need to remember the attitude we once held to not get frustrated in the face of adversity and trials but rather to work through it hand in hand with our fellow citizens. If we can work through this situation we truly could work through anything we face as a nation. No matter the circumstances we must come together. A decade later we have a duty as Americans to remember what happened on that day of infamy. It will be a day of remembrance, a day of mourning, as well as a day of progress. We must remember the atrocities that were committed but also to remember the advancements we have made as a country. The death of those people in the Pentagon, Flight 92, and the Twin Towers will never be forgotten. But through the days after America has become stronger, smarter, and experienced. We have the true fortitude to fight through any problem. We have stood hand in hand with our neighbors and held hope. A decade later the pain is still there, the scar on lady liberty is still visible but it has not crippled us. We have won not only strategically but also psychologically. As the lights from Ground Zero pierced the sky above only days after the aftermath of 9/11 showing the world that we will never forget and never will we give up, we too as a country have shown the world that ever so much more by the way we have survived and lived these past ten years. We have shown the world that "We are America, we will survive, we will advance, we will never give up, and we will be victorious."

America Again...

Political state

Our country is struggling. But it is not dying. In the light of humanity our country is still young. Our democracy is still young but yet we act as if we have all the answers. We are in our toddler stages. Our terrible threes as it were. When things don't go the way we think they should we begin to wine and complain. We moan and cry for change and those in charge become a giant political windsock that move with changing winds.

Our countries values are the biggest crisis in our society. We have drifted so far from the base values that made this country great. We have taken the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness for granted. We use to be a great nation that was revered, respected, and feared. We have a country that has citizens begging for help in the unemployment line, un educated children, rising crime rates. But yet we dare not volunteer unless it is our last option. We want a change but yet have no drive and determination to fight for it.

Only sixty years ago this country was in a John Wayne shaped mentality. Our grandfathers had this mentality in World War II, Korea, and even Vietnam. The men who lead are the ones who do work when work is needed to be done instead of having others to do it for them as they sit idly by. On December 8th 1941, our country scraped for change. In the wake of the morning after Pearl Harbor everything changed: perspectives, fears, even dreams. In a country where the majority of workers were men, women stood up to take a role in the future of our country. In that time in our history our country rose to the challenge instead of backing down from a fight. Their only goal, even for those who died was to make a better life for those who were at home as well as for their future children and grandchildren.

In 1776 this country wasn't concerned with not picking up the bill for what the price of freedom was. Young boys and men lost their lives fighting the greatest military in the world arguably one of the greatest superpowers in history. Others who could not fight gave financially losing everything to establish a country they believed in with no returns, not even a hope of it ever succeeding. Politicians then argued over the correct wording for our constitution. They argued over political strategies to come to terms with separating themselves from a ruthless dictator. They did this solely for the fact of creating a better life and not political gain. Our first three presidents had no desire to be president. They did not care to be in power but yet answered the call that was given them. But today our politicians are more concerned with the keeping of party lines as well as their political futures rather than the issues that face everyday Americans. Our citizens use to have a voice that mattered. Not they just get a pre-formed response letter and are a number in a statistic rather than a person with needs and thoughts. This is not to say that every desire should be met but rather people should be just that, people and not a number.

Instead of that John Wayne society and attitude we once had as country we have elected to take on a new shape as a Brad Pitt society. Now we don't care about our values and history. We don't care where we came from we just care about the facts of whether or not people truly accept us and if we look good to the world. We call it a new school line of thought. Those that serve and volunteer and work because there is work to be done rather than being forced are the odd ones. Those that serve the military are viewed as being un educated war mongers rather than being volunteers to protect freedom. Those that serve their country in the red cross are honored when there is a crisis but when there is none it is viewed as a lower middle class profession. Since when was the American dream a 90 grand Mercedes with a big house and all the gadgets you could want. The American dream was always for the freedom. The goal of the government was for the prosperity and good of it's constituents.

The president is right we do need a change. We need a change from lavish words during a campaign turned into empty promises. We need a change from party politics and pet projects that we are unwilling to let go of simply because it has a name on it. We need a change from the ignorance and denial of peoples every day needs. We need a change from just being voted by the people and yet not finishing what they wanted you to begin and still support young men dying over seas for the same cause. We need to get back to the way of life we were accustomed to in the past. A country with gusto and courage to fight for what they believe and stick with it all the way. A country with morals and beliefs that if threatened rip our emotions apart. A country that is ready for a fight but doesn't force them. And yet if a fight faces or confronts them they will not back no matter what. A country that cares more about the people rather than political agendas. We need to become America again.

Stripped

“Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.”

Job 7:13-16
“When I think my bed will comfort me 
   and my couch will ease my complaint, 
even then you frighten me with dreams 
   and terrify me with visions, 
so that I prefer strangling and death, 
   rather than this body of mine. 
I despise my life; I would not live forever. 
   Let me alone; my days have no meaning.”

Job hits the nail right on the head. So many times our places of comfort and complacency offer us no rest. We find ourselves in a place in life where the sun is shining all the time. The problems of life seem to be completely non existent. Life is golden. Everything seems to be going right and looking up. This is the type of life that when we are living it we lose sight of our dependence on God. God will sometimes use situations to rock the very foundation we walk on as a tsunami to a vacation destination. An abrupt stoppage in the midst of our euphoria that we call perfection, when truly we do not realize that we have allowed ourselves to be seduced by one of the most dangerous situations for a Christian. A comfortable, complacent position is not one that is acceptable for a Christian.

For a short period of time i lived in a small Texas town outside of Dallas on a ranch. One of the duties i had during this time was to shear the llamas. Llamas are in themselves very elusive and sketchy creatures. You have to chase them down, corner them, grab hold of them by the neck and lead them to the barn. Once you are at the barn you have to force them to their knees and hold them down to shear all of the fur off of their bodies. They completely hate and despise this when in all actuality it is for their own good. The summers are too hot in Texas for a llama to keep their winter/spring coat. The unnecessary things need to be removed and stripped from their bodies so that they can be healthy and able to continue their daily lives as. The fur that is removed is not just discarded but has a purpose on the ranch whether to sell or even use as stuffing or a deterrent for enemies along the outlying areas of the ranch. This shearing time is not just a painful time for the llama but is also one for the cowboy as well. It can be frustrating just catching the llama because in the back of the cowboys mind he knows the entire purpose for this shearing. Watching the animal squirm and squeal once on its knees because it thinks its in danger wrenches the cowboy’s heart. He loves for the animal and only wants to see it healthy and useful. And once the animal is naked and the fur is stripped away there is a sense of relief in both the animal and cowboys mind that all the unnecessary weight and fur has been released and removed from the animal, even when the animal had no faith in the cowboys knowledge of what was best for them.

In our Christian walks we are so many times like that llama. We have become complacent with the “unnecessary fur” that we carry around on a daily basis. It brings us a sense of comfort as well as safety knowing that this will definitely shield us from the outside elements as well as the pain that may come our way. In this complacent state God wants us to be free of that idea of trusting in ourselves. We think that this is ok, that this whole idea is good. We run away from anything that we find or even see as uncomfortable or outside of normality in our own lives. We try escape situations that we know are going to force us to grow up spiritually as well as emotionally. God has to sometimes wrangle us by the necks and bring us to our knees to remove and strip away all the things that are holding us back, weighing us down, and are unnecessary in our lives. When are we going to get to the point where we can be comfortable in this pruning and refining process in our own life.
I have experienced this several times in my own life. I have experienced a variety of times that feeling of being taken out of my element of comfort and placed into a new situation where God has to remove some of the negative things out of my own life. It has not always been sin. This moment of pruning in my own life is definitely a necessary one. Every distraction that i have held onto and used to weasel my way out of uncomfortable situations has been removed. I am single, living alone in an apartment that has no internet, no television, and no cell phone service. I am living in an area where i knew one family coming down here. I stuck out like a sore thumb and was completely unprepared for what i would experience in such a short time as three months. But looking back, it was the stripping away of all this that i found the most value in. I found the need to rely on God to get me through my day. Every breath, every drop of energy, every word that i issue out of my mouth must come from my heavenly Father and supplier.

Without him ever present in our lives we are nothing but a pointless object, wearing ourselves out as we carry around all the unnecessary weight in our lives. If can bring ourselves to the position of humility as well as take that step of our faith and submit ourselves to the author and finisher of perfection we would see a drastic change. I wonder sometimes if we even realize what could be in our own lives. Are we so stuck on this idea of our sinful state that we have become comfortable with wallowing in our own pit of filth? Or is it fear that drives us to insanity and back as we search for a way out of this mess we lay in? We need to be able to give up what we think is good to chase after and obtain that which is great in God.

Whatever it truly is we need to realize that a stripping away of that fur in our life needs to take place on a daily basis.

Check your Pits

Your Pits Stink.

New York City, the city of dreams. The ones that are both easily lost as well as easily gained. One of the main tourist destinations in the world showed me a valuable lesson that I was convicted of in my own spiritual life. As i sat on the subway riding from the bronx to broadway i had an event that literally still to this day. It makes me gag even just thinking about it. I was sitting down with my good friend across from me on the other side of the subway. A man sat next to me and when he sat down my world was literally rocked. He was dressed as if he had just come from the gym. Nike and UnderArmour clearly received a pretty penny from him as he was decked out from head to toe. He was listening to music on his iPhone and anyone who saw him would guess he was a well off individual. But when i took a deep breath in through my nose i nearly threw up in the subway. The stench of body odor this man was giving off was literally enough to kill a man. I do not doubt that it may have made people pass out on the platform as they waited to get on the train. Gagging i sat there trying not to make any faces or expressions that he would see and be offended by, nor did i have the nerve to tell him he reeked of stench. All i wanted to do was say to him, “man your pits stink!” As he exited the train a few stops later i exhaled quickly almost gasping for air and those around me gave out a chuckle, because apparently we were all thinking the same thing about this one individual.

But that got me thinking. This one moment provoked inside of me a deep contemplation of the series of events that most christians see on a weekly basis. So many times we as a church body find ourselves praying and pleading with God to bring in the people, to soften their hearts, and to give us opportunities to reach out to them and show them the gospel. But yet we want God to do all the work. We want them to have their lives cleaned up before they enter the church so we are no left to “clean the mess” that is left in their life. We sit in church, know their history, know their problems and sins and yet we act as if their sin is a contagious disease that is gonna spread. The stench of their sin drives us away back into our “holy huddles.” Then once they feel uncomfortable or no longer want to be apart of our community they leave and we are left chuckling amongst ourselves about the laundry list of sins that they had. We sit in our pews as if we are pompous priests who have it all figured out. Instead of trying to mentor and disciple them we just try to spray cologne on their stench, cover up the problem and try to disguise it rather than remedy it. The problem in the church today is not the stench of sin in our congregation, but rather the stench of religion that we have become accustomed and complacent with. If we look at Christ’s ministry we dont see him among the religious much. To put it bluntly and specifically Christ did not hang out with the churched. Instead he rather chose to hang out among the sinners. He spent his time building relationships with the thieves, liars, prostitutes, sluts, addicts, and the possessed. His ministry wasnt to the church. If Christ were on the earth today would he really be able to step into the church or would the stench of our pompous religion drive him right back out of the door. Would we be too concerned with covering up the sinners stench with the “cologne” of our religion or would we be comfortable with allowing Him to step through every part of our church as well as our lives. We think just because we are saved we have it figured all out. But yet we meet people in our community who are dying and going to hell and have nothing figured out in this life. The “heathens” enter our church and well greet them but yet we wont sit with them, we don’t take the opportunity to build a relationship with them becuase they are the “town alcoholic, town whore, town prostitute, or drug dealer.” We need to get over ourselves and allow people to enter an environment where they feel comfortable with coming to Jesus as they are sin and all rather than building an environment where we just get our ego’s stroked and are able to make it to the next Sunday to just get our “holy juice” fix. When are we as a church going to realize that our complacency is failing us and cheating us out of accomplishing the Great Commission? We need to be in the world but not of the world. We need to come to the point where the “stench” of the sinners doesnt drive us away but rather draws us to the hurting, lost, misguided, and unsaved. The world has enough fakes and frauds in it, the church as a whole needs to wake up and remove themselves from that label. We need to stop tearing down the sinner and rather build them up in Christ. We need to mimick the attitude of Jesus in reaching out to the lost instead of holding our breath, gagging our way through service because of the stench of the people sitting next to us. And in reality have we really smelled ourselves lately? So what does your church smell like? Is it that sweet perfume with a hint of a reeking stench or is it real, honest, and loving the stench of the sinner as they walk through the door.

Maybe we as the church of today we need to check our pits.

The essence of the bat

Imagine this. You are sitting in prison one day. All alone in solitary confinement. You have been beaten, bruised, and left to waste your time away in this tiny cell. You have tried to escape this prison anyway you can but you only find yourself being thrown deeper and deeper into this prison. Time begins to cease to exist and hope floats away with every passing breath. It has become a pointless fight. You have struggled enough and just can't take it anymore. You have now lost all drive. Complacency in your current position is all that matters to you now. In your fetal position you wish something, anything would change. Then something remarkable happens. You are shocked to see a visitor wake you up out of your current sleep that you are in. Your disheveled look presents a look of perplexion and confusion on your face as this well dressed individual begins to offer you your freedom. He begins to tell you that you can be free from this prison you are in. You can put this all behind you. You can walk out of this prison and find a new life to fully live up to your potential. All you have to do is take a journey that will test you in every way. Would you take it? Would you take that journey to gain your freedom? After all, this prison that you are in has removed you from your friends, family, and normal everyday life. It has consumed you. Freedom at this point seems near impossible to attain let alone even imagine. But yet you have the choice. Bruce Wayne had this very option placed in front of him. He had been content to live a life of crime. It had become his life and it had lead him to prison. There was no sight of freedom for him until being visited by raz a goul. Raz gave him a chance for freedom.
I've always been a batman fan for the simple reason that he is a normal human being. He has no super power, he isn't a mutant, he is just a rich everyday guy who is looking to change the world around him for the better. This one simple part of the story has always amazed me and lately has shown me some valuable lessons that I needed to apply in my own Christian walk. Bruce Wayne was in darkness. Locked in a prison with no hope for escape. This was his plight. He had no friends or family that were aware of his current location. It was a simple fact that he was alone. But yet he was offered freedom.
This is so ironically similar to our current lives. We find ourselves in the grip of sin, addiction, or even our own stupidity. It controls us, it locks us into a prison that we have no chance of escape. We are beaten down by that with every escape attempt we try to create. We find ourselves being lead deeper and deeper into this prison. Sometimes we are willingly lead away. Other times we are not so sure of it and fight it all the way. Whichever path we choose we still are slowly being lead away deeper and deeper into this prison. We need an escape. We are so deep in our sin and addiction that we can't even begin to fathom what true freedom even looks like. We search for it in any avenue we can find possible. We look for an escape and do not find it. In fact we are so sure of our own strength that we believe that we can do it on our own and everything will work out the way we need it or want it to. In the end we wind up screwing ourselves worse and worse with every decision we make. Then that opportunity for freedom cones along and we have no idea that our world Is about to explode and be completely reinvented. In the middle of our agony Christ shows up in the middle of our prison cell. He wakes us up from our sleep that we are in. He removes us from that blindness that has overtaken our vision. Everything has become clouded and jaded in our minds and we need that to change. We need to be freed from this prison that we find ourselves in. There Christ stands offering his hand in help as well as gratitude. He offers us a chance to Be released from this prison and experience our lives with him to the fullest. He offers us a chance to achieve our full potential by living our lives in a manner he would approve of. All that we are required to do is to just take a journey with him. This journey will not be easy. We are going to be tested in every way possible. But yet there the door stands open allowing us to be free from thus prison of addiction. John 8:36 simply but so powerfully states "Whom the son sets free is free indeed." It is in this verse that our bail is validated. Christ himself paid the price for our freedom. He paid the price to allow us to be free of all the addictions and sins and mindsets that hold us back from living our full potential and purpose in Christ. But it is our decision to change. We are always Fearful of change.

It is that feeling of the unknown. Sometimes freedom is a frightening thing. The founding fathers felt this same feeling when they gained their independence. They recognized the responsibility they had to their constituents. It wasn't just a new lifestyle but An entire new way of life. The same is for our own lives. Once we experience freedom on that level we sometimes are fearful. We have a responsibility to be weary of upcoming tests that are going to try to trip us up in the future. Through prayer and focus. Our attention can be diverted to better resources and uses of our time and energy. Christ called us to be victors not victims. And will we mess up. But just as Alfred said "Why do we fall master Bruce, so we can learn to pick ourselves back up." freedom in Christ is the goal.

Location:Saddlebrook Rd,Lexington,United States

A Sparrows Simple Flight

In our society today power controls just about everything. I’m not talking about the simple power of electricity but rather the power to create, destroy, raise up, and collapse. In our country there is always this ongoing struggle for power in the world of politics. There is always the pursuit of power in the world of sports. There is always that quest to be the powerhouse team, the one that is in control. But there is nothing like the ferocious power of a storm in all of its beauty.

As I write this I am sitting in my truck parked on the roof level of Washington and Lee University’s parking lot in the midst of a torrential storm. As I sit I am unable to see the dorms and fraternity houses that are no more than one hundred yards away. The wind is causing trees to buckle right in front of me to the point of between the claps of thunder you can hear the trees crack under the power of the wind. Rain and hail is pounding on the roof of my truck with such ferocity that it is deafening inside of my truck. The clouds are no more than a hundred feet above me spewing out violent streaks of lighting that cause the whole horizon to light up as if a sheet of rain is its own personal back drop. Water is beginning to deepen itself around the base of the tires of my truck. People are frantically sprinting to their cars in their own futile attempt to dodge the onslaught of raindrops falling. There are these momentary lapses of peace in which the rain slows to a sprinkle and peace begins to resume its role in the area. But as soon as it stops lighting begins its barrage of attacks once again. The town of Lexington that I am in happens to sit right in the shadow of the tallest peaks of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The town itself is perched on a mountaintop almost a mile above sea level. Causing the storms to be short but intense in their attack on this small college town.

As the storm rages on, in the middle of one of the most intense attacks thus far something catches my eye. It was unexpected and unbelievable. A sparrow was perched on the hood of my parked car. As the lightning raged and the winds split the trees this bird took flight and left the perch of my truck. In my mind I begin to race with thoughts of if this bird was smart he would have scurried underneath my truck to gain some sense of safety from the wind and the rain. But that is not what this bird chose to do. He took flight off into the violent, intimidating horizon. As the winds blew this bird from the right to the left and then back again this bird kept flying straight into the distance till I could see it no more. With this site I had just witnessed as I experienced the awesome power of nature I began to think.

We are a lot like that tiny little sparrow. So many times in our lives we are living in the mountaintops where as we look around we see nothing but what is below us. Life is bright and sunny, everything is going exactly right and exactly how we expected it to go. But yet in our peaceful utopian state that we have lulled ourselves into, we are totally ignorant of the coming storm. Though we have been warned about it, and we see the precipitating factors that are giving us the hints that it is coming we choose to ignore the basic facts that we are about to attacked from all sides. One-minute life is perfect and the next minute we are in the midst of a storm that is rocking the vey foundation that we are one. Lightning fast situations are hitting close to home all around us. At our very nature our mind begins to think, our heart begins to race, anxiety and fear have all but crippled us in our state as we just stand around. The wind is so violent that we can barely stand. But yet we feel the need to remove ourselves from this situation and storm that we are in. At the very base of our human nature our flesh cries out for us to seek safety, to hide ourselves from the storm and “just ride it out.” So we can get back to our peaceful utopian state. But relief is not to be seen in the distance. This is where we as believers have a decision to make. We can allow ourselves to be stuck in the drama of the storm or we can rise to the occasion and take flight in the face of imminent destruction.

We need to be like that tiny little sparrow. I can only begin to imagine the fear in that sparrows mind as he contemplated the idea of taking flight in the midst of this storm. He could have sat back and played it safe. But something, some thought of courage or craziness gave that tiny sparrow the boldness to fly. I wonder what would be the outcome in our lives if in the midst of the storm we stood up, faced it head on, and jumped into the wind? What would happen if in the middle of our storms of life we had the courage to just jump into the air, spread our wings placing complete trust in the hands of the one who can create the storms as well as calm them? What would the world be like if we denied the fleshly desire and fleshly motives of complacency and playing it safe? Its hard to imagine trying to walk in the middle of this storm I’m witnessing right now, let alone fly. No one is saying it is easy, or that it is going to be a cakewalk, or even that you will not feel undeniable fear. But as believers in Christ we are not called to a complacent lifestyle at any point in our Christian walks. Though we face hell itself we are not called to just stand around and watch as the storm passes by over us. We are called to be men and women of action. To stand up and realize that we have no control over the inevitable situation we are in but we are in control of the eternal outcome that will result from this. Through our movement, and our courage to jump into the midst of the storm we find ourselves in a place of learning, growth, and strengthening. That bird at first did not have it easy as he was mercilessly blown from side to side. That bird had to learn how to fly in the storm. He gained strength from using muscles that he most likely does not use on a daily basis. He probably did not have an idea on where he was going to fly, but instead of gripping his talons into the concrete and trying to weather the storm under his own strength he took flight. He was not concerned with the chance of pain or even death. He took flight with the thoughts of all that was ingrained into his very being as well as all the strengths that throughout his short life he had learned.

This thought challenged me, it brought me to a place of decision and movement in my own life. I know I have the tendency to be complacent where I am during my “mountain top” experiences. I have that tendency to ignore the warning signs of coming storms and waste my time instead of preparing myself for the coming onslaught. But yet when those storms come through I have resolved to trust my Savior, the one who created life itself as well as everything in it. I have resolved to place my very soul in the mighty hand of God and trust Him that my best interests are at the forefront of his mind. And I will spread my wings and take flight in the midst of the storms.
As I sit here, I begin to see daylight on the horizon. The storm has passed and peace is beginning to regain its hold on this tiny town. And I look at the wall in front of me and my mentor has returned to teach me a final lesson. I see the bird has weathered the storm. He survived its mighty onslaught. I have no idea on where it went or what it experienced but yet I know that it is still alive. As the sun begins to regain its hold of the afternoon I see the storm has moved on behind me. Hope begins to stir in my own soul that no matter what storms I will experience in my own life, it will not last forever. The sun will again show and I will be on that mountain again, but this time with a new attitude and outlook on life as well as my walk with Christ.

Wax on, Wax off.

It is so easy to forget the mercy of God or the shaping and molding of his perfect plan. When we are in situations sometimes we overlook the mercy of God when we face pain. It seems so unfair. Life just slams us right in the face and we really dont know how to respond or even how to press on. We ask ourselves where is God in this situation? We look around and cry out in our agony, stress and misery but find no relief. We feel that ceiling has heard more about our problems than God has. If only the ceiling could talk back. I know through personal struggles though, we are refined and made stronger through his perfect plan.
Its like that of a soldiers training. There are the smallest little things that a drill sargeant will bark and yell over. At that one certain point the soldier begins to question the purpose of it. It begins to plague his mind as he believes that it is more for torture and punishment. It begins to cloud every aspect of his thought process. How funny does it become when the soldier wants to quit and begins to mentally shut down at that task at hand. His thoughts begin to drift slowly away to a place where he doesnt need to be. His focus is drawn on the negative, and at the point of quitting his drill sargeant begins to regale him of the many varied usefull tools he has learned in that one task. Just as karate kid had to wax on and wax off; we too go through those varieties of situations.
Its just like that in our life. We go through a variety of different "training" times in our life. We think that we are losing our mind and that we are about to lose it all. We get so frustrated and aggravated at the small things in life that it begins to rip apart our minds and hearts. We cant focus on the task at hand and we just recognize only the negative. We scream and cry out to God but get no response. We feel so small and insignificant that our problems soon overwhelm us and pull us to the bottom. But yet how many times do we not realize that we are actually learning a valuable and life long lesson that will help us the rest of our lives. These things in our life that stress us and we see as torture actually serve a double purpose. We need to change our mentality in this area we need to shift it from thinking of it as something unnatural to becoming a teaching lesson. So many times we allow ourselves to be caught up in our own ego that we forget the glory and beauty of God. In Isaiah 48, God is speaking to the children of Israel of this very specific thing. They had forgotten the beauty and glory of God and his faithfullness. THey had become so dependent on their own strength that God allowed them to face hard and rough times to recalibrate their focus off of themselves and back to Him. Isaiah 48: 10 says " See, i have refined you, though not as silver, i have tested you in the furnace of affliction. 11 For my own sake, for my own sake i do this. How can i let my self be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another." God places us in times that we need to truly understand are teaching times and times that will stretch our faith and allow us to become stronger in Him. When our focus leaves that of Christ there comes a point where we need to be refined and redirected by Christ. Just as a drill sargeant leads his troops into teaching exercises, Christ also leads us. When you face a situation remember you are being refined by fire to show all of Gods glory and not the glory of another.

Is the A/C on?

For too long we have been silent. These words ring through my mind every morning when i wake up. They haunt me with each step. We say we hold onto this idea of salvation as our glorious hope, but yet we treat it as if it is something that we can hide and contain only in our self. We grip salvation as if it is a gift that if we share it, it will disappear from our lives. How can we be so complacent?
I sat in a church recently and heard the worship that was shared throughout the auditorium. It was so sweet and the presence of God was truly in that place. But something changed. As I stepped out of the nice AC foyer through the day into the hot summer day I felt a wave of heat slam into my face. And I realized something in that particular moment. How relevant is it that we as a church
Can relate our relationship with the world to the same relationship of the Air conditioning inside of the church to the heat of the outside world.
There is one thing that is completely essential for this whole idea of our world and its current state: it is dying and going to hell. The rate of death is not decreasing. There is nothing that is slowing down about it. If anything the mortality rate is increasing at a drastic pace. There is nothing that we can do about it. We cannot stop the inevitable, but we can change the eternal. Our community is on the brink of disaster of an eternity in hell and we are just sitting around doing absolutely nothing about it. It is almost just like that situation I experienced.
We sit in the comfort of our own church. We feel the cool relaxed environment completely oblivious to the outside world and the heat we face and the heat others are facing right now. We act as if we are members of an exclusive country club. We want to keep this environment we have to ourselves a secret and when we are in the out in the world we just long for that time when we are back in the comfort of that pew once again when the world around us is facing the heat of hell day in and day out.
This should absolutely not be. We were given a great commission by Christ to go into all of the world. It does not say to go in only when it is convenient for us or when we are comfortable. But instead we should find every opportunity to exemplify the love of Christ. It is becoming scary how the church is becoming complacent with the community around them living lives that are sending them straight to hell. Our heart and eyes should match that of Christ in seeing our friends and neighbors and the strangers on the street as lost opportunities for a soul to find the amazing love of Christ. There should be an attitude of excitement and anxiousness in our churches. It should be the same atmosphere like that in a basketball game, when time is running out, and you are losing and you begin to play and fight harder to win. That should be our attitude. We should see that time is running out and the clock is winding down.
So the next time you feel the cool breeze of the Air Conditioner ask yourself if you are doing all that you can be doing to reach the outside world for Christ and save them from that blistering heat.
So I ask you, is the A/C on?

Pursuit of a Watch

Nice watches have always captured my eye. Whenever I was in the mall I would find the most expensive watch store and just let it captivate my eyes. I would then go to wal mart or khols and search for a watch that looked similar to it just so I could have this perception of cool. I would spend sixty or seventy dollars on a watch that just looked like the real watch I desired. But yet it never was the real thing. When I finished my time at Norwich university my dad bought me the watch of my dreams. It was a Breitling Bentley motors watch. I have wanted this one style of watches ever since I saw blue angle pilots wearing them. I thought they were the most amazing things in the world. And now I finally had one. I love this watch. I wear it every chance I get.

My watch got me thinking the other day. When I was a kid I saw something that captivated my eye. I worked my tail off just to save up enough money to buy an imitation of that watch. But yet I still desired the real thing. I still wanted the real thing and even daydreamed about how amazing it would be the day that I had the real thing on my wrist.

Its just like our lives. We search for love. We try to find it everywhere. We see exactly what we want and pursue it. WE fight for it and wind up the proud owner of a sad imitation that will never satisfy us. We search for it in any aspect and avenue we can find and yet we still are not satisfied with the results. We are broke and broken, spent physically, spent mentally, and even spent emotionally. We are at our rock bottom. This period in life sucks. We have done everything we can to feel that love we so desperately search for. We try and find it in money, our jobs, possessions, athletics, and even our romantic relationships. We can never find it though. Nothing seems to fill that hole.

But it has always amazed me that when we are at our rock bottom God always shows up. He shows up and lets us know that he is not only still God but he loves us and is in total control over every aspect of our life. He gives us that true watch that we have been looking for. He gives us that pure love we have searched and it makes us feel complete. We want to show it off and tell the world about it. The cheap imitations do not satisfy us anymore. This is the main thing that has captured our love and our attention just like my watch.

No Greater Love

No Greater Love

I find it funny how one verse can make you ponder everything in your life. Direction seems almost fickle at times. Christ said in John 15:13 that “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friend.” As a former infantry soldier this hit me hard. Id like to say now in the safety of my room, undoubtedly yes I could do this. But it is one thing to say this now and another to follow through while I am being attacked by an enemy. A few things went through my mind when I began reading this verse; What love is this?, It has to be intentional and voluntary, and this is for a friend.

What type of love is this? I mean I have been in life or death situations before where I have risked my own life to save another mans but I never considered it love. I never considered it an emotion. I thought of it more as a response to my duty to my fellow brother in arms. It came with a sense that they would do the same for me. Whether or not if I liked the person, we wore the uniform of soldiers in the United States Army and that was enough for me. I knew exactly then what my response must be. But what type of love is it that I can do this for someone outside of my military family or even someone I don’t know and is outside of my call of duty. Am I truly willing to lay my life down for some stranger?

This whole idea is voluntary. The whole idea of jumping on that grenade for a friend or taking that bullet to save someone else is a voluntary idea. NO one is forcing the situation on us. If we do this we are committing to it. Even if we try we know the possible results that could face us if we succeed. We willing are laying our lives down. Who in their right mind does this? I know my uncle did in Vietnam and one thing he told me is that he did it for love. He loved his brothers in arms. The voluntary portion of it still boggles the mind.

Laying your life down for a friend. I mean you can sit there and say you would be willing to lay your life down for a friend but do you mean it? Does it encompass all of your friends or do you have your select few that are in an inner circle that you would choose. Could you do it for a stranger?

Then it hits me even harder. It hits so close to home that I actually begin to cry. I look at all three of these things and begin to wonder in my life how I could ever do this. I ask myself if I am even capable of this or is there someone who is. But there always has been. Christ did this for me 2000 years ago on a cross. He loved me so much that he was willing to voluntary give himself up so that I can live. He loved me even though he knew I would wind up one day rejecting him and turning from him. He loved me when I was drinking, he loved me when is was fornicating, he loved me when I was selling my own possessions to put myself into an inebriated state to just escape all the pain, he loved me at my lowest point. He knew all of this before I was even a thought or even an idea. He knew all the struggles I would face in life but yet his love was the key factor.

He loved me so much that he willingly gave up his life for me so that I could live. He ended it all. He laid himself down, went through hell itself on a cross for me. He took my shame, my disgusting failures, and my dirty secrets on himself and paid the price for my mistakes 2000 years ago. He was willing to do this for love and the chance that I would find him and fall in love with him.

He did this for a friend. That even though I rejected him, and in a basic sense spat in his face and never headed a word he said he did this for me, and considered me a friend. He was willing to take the bullet, jump on the grenade, be crucified for me.

The amazing thing to me is that he didn’t just do this for me. He did this for all of creation. There is not a single person alive on this earth that he was not willing to love and voluntarily lay his life down so that we may find life in him. That he was able to do this for all of humanity still to this day baffles me and will continue to do so until the day I am able to see him face to face.

Our culture some times dumbs down the idea of giving oneself for someone else. We say it in songs about dating relationships, we see it in the movies, we hear about it on TV but when we really look at it, it looks nothing like that of what Jesus did for you and me. No matter what the world says there is nothing in this life that can even cast a shadow on what he did for us on Calvary. And that is a love worth sharing…for there is no greater love.

Two Putt to Success

In golf your goal is to at minimum get the ball on the green in regulation. It is that one part of the game that every golfer can at least get lucky every round or so and hit a green in regulation. But then comes the true test of a golfers strength of mind, putting. Putting has been the downfall of many a golfer and has given out nicknames like the golden bear, shooter, and tin man to many a pro. It seems so simple right? But yet it can frustrate us beyond all repair. We have seen movie after movie that shows putting as this natural thing as natural as a bodies movement. But its not. There is no secret remedy for the excellent putting game. Its not just a simple tap tap tapporoo but it is so much more. It takes hours and hours of practice.

One thing that I have learned is this. Putting once a green is a very hard task for me. I will try everything in my power to get the ball in that little round cup in just one simple putt. Doesn’t matter to me if it is thirty feet or three I want to make it in one putt. I found that I would mess up my game even worse. I would wind up making three or four putts per green. But then it hit me one day from the words of my golf coach. All I needed to do was two putt to success. If I sent the ball traveling in the direction of the cup with not too much force in my swing that the ball would, if I aimed correctly, would be close enough for a simple putt to get the ball in the cup. I had to aim in the right direction and away from any obstacles that stood out in my way, hit the ball with just the right amount of power, and stay focus that the ball would be close enough to make it in with a second putt. This improved my golf game immensely and took several strokes off of a single round of golf.

Then it hit me. This idea is a lot like the pursuit of what God will in our lives. Now stay with me and I promise you will see exactly what I am talking about. When we take these three things and apply them to our own lives we will see exactly what we are missing. The three things we need to be work on is our aim, force, and focus.

Aim is important in putting. If you are aiming at the wrong direction your ball will head an entirely different direction than where you were even aiming. It is frustrating when the same thing happens to you in your life. We have a tendency to aim at what we think is the best direction to take and just end up lost and confused and frustrated. We point the finger at God, say that the “green” didn’t break the right way, or even something got in our way. We never point the finger at ourselves and say that we just had our aim way off. We were not even pointing close to where God wants us and it takes time, effort, and pain to get back to where we belong.

Force is hard not to ignore in the game of golf. It’s an idea that holds a steep learning curve. Some greens are faster than others, some are wet, and sometimes we are fifty yards away from the hole. We try to force the ball in hitting it as hard as we possibly could and yet the ball becomes and unpredictable object in this horrible game. Sometimes we hit it too softly and get angry and want to throw our putter as hard and as far as we can. But yet the same is in life. Sometimes a situation arises in our own life and we try to force the outcome that we think is best but yet just wind up making the situation. And sometimes we just lay off too much and the ball barely even gets rolling. The hardest thing in life to do a majority of the time is to just let God be God. We try to get what we think is best, or even force Gods will to develop too prematurely. We do everything in our power sometimes to take God out of the equation. WE try to force Gods hand. And yet it never works. We wind up making the situation so much worse. And become so much farther away from where we need to be than when we started. But if we just don’t try and force the issue we will see God lead us exactly in the direction we need to go.

Focus is a pivotal part of the game. If your mind is wandering your game will falter but if you over think every aspect of the game you will go crazy. Even in our lives we have a tendency to lose focus on the hole and the goal God has placed in our lives. We lose sight of where God wants us exactly to be. Its crazy to think that sometimes we are willing to let our mind lead us down a path that is totally against anything God would even have for our lives.

If we just approach our lives almost like a two putt to success I believe we will see dramatic changes in our current states of frustration, anger, and resentment. IF we just follow Gods leading and aim directly at where he wants us, we don’t try and force the will too prematurely or even force ourselves out of his will, and focus on him and what he has for our life, I guarantee that He will do the rest. He will elad us and guide us and encourage us even in the toughest of lies. His love for us never fades, never forces pain, and never causes resentment. His love is the factor in our life that we need to play off of. We need to let God be God and allow him to take our second putt…in our two putt to success.

The Grip

Your Grip is everything

Your grip in golf is everything. If your grip is to hard the club becomes unpredictable and with the slightest turn of your wrist can cause your shot to become as deadly as a stray bullet with no target. If your grip is too loose the club may wind up going farther than your ball traveled. For decades golf professionals have debated what grip to use. There is the over lapping, the interlocking, the baseball grip, the over lapping/interlocking grip. The list goes on and on. Every golfer has his or her own variations to it. But one thing is for certain you don’t want it too tight or too loose. There is that fine line you have to walk in finding that right grip. You want to make sure it is perfect or as close to perfect as you can get. At the same time it has to be comfortable for you. You need to find that one grip that every time you pick up a club it is the most comfortable feeling in the world. You should feel ready for any lie that you are in.

Life is the same way. We have the tendency to live the same way. We hold onto things in our life that we are almost smothering ourselves. We try to control every situation in our own way that we think is best. We grip life so tightly that soon it becomes so stiff and rigid and the results frustrate us because nothing seems to be going as it should. A white knuckled approach to life is not always the smartest thing for our own life because we have control issues. We look for things in our life that we can control. Just a simple thing like what we eat or even what we drink has a profound ability to give us control. If we can control aspects in our life we feel that our grip on life is perfect. In our lives our grip can mean everything. When it is so tight that we hold onto every situation with such fervor and determination that when we do not reach the desired results that we are so frustrated and become enraged with the outcome. This plays off in the rest of the situations in our life. It throws our game completely off and we have no way of “getting it together,” because our frustration just makes our grip tighter and tighter.

We have a tendency to hold our life with no grip at all. We just loosely hold on with no care at all. We approach situations with absolutely no care in the world at all. We fire away at whatever comes our way with no result. We try so hard sometimes to get the desired result we want but with no grip we winding throwing away some of life’s best situations. It doesn’t matter what it is. We just swing away not caring at all what happens. We have this passive, “whatever” attitude. But when there is nothing left in our hands but that empty and alone feeling it hits us. We have just thrown away every opportunity that had the chance to be great just because of our blasé attitude. We don’t change because we really don’t have the guts to change. We desire something different but we are ok if nothing ever changes. We don’t mind that we are stuck in this rut.

I have been in both situations. I have held on to the life that I felt that I loved so tightly that whenever a situation did not work out exactly just how I wanted or planned that frustration and anger seemed to be the only factor that was pervasive in my pursuit of what I thought was best. My grip on life was so tight that I somehow strangled myself almost to death. I loved my life that I was living so much that when the time came for it to change I fought it with every ounce of energy that I held. I was miserable. Everything in my life seemed to go wrong and I had nowhere to turn. I have also held onto life with a loose grip not caring for anything. It didn’t matter what happened I knew that I would find something to enjoy it. I found alcohol, girls, and jobs as ways to just fulfill my life with empty hollow emotions. It soon became evident that I took it all for granted. Didn’t matter what the cause and affects were from my actions, I did what I thought was best for me. I destroyed my body, memory, and pride with drinking. I thought it would make me forget about the pain I had in my life. I thought it would numb my senses but all it did was destroy my liver, and made me feel worse in the morning than when I started drinking. I took for granted every relationship that I had thinking that they would always be there no matter what decisions I made. I drove friends away, made a rift in my own family make up, and made myself off limits to the women that deep inside made me feel love for but yet never knew. My loose grip on life killed jobs. I could have cared less if I didn’t get paid or what my boss thought of me. I could have cared less about my future and just went through the motions of the day to make them pass by faster.

Both grips seemed uncompromising in my own life. They both had massive negatives that stared me in the face. They both led me down parts of life that I regret. But when God came in my life my grip changed. My swing changed. Everything about this game of life changed completely. I didn’t grip the club to soft or too tight. I held on enough to care but not enough to try to control every aspect of my life. I didn’t overexert my self and try to live like I felt I needed to live. I didn’t over swing. It was natural. Because I wasn’t in control. I let the club do the work and that was good enough for me. I took it all in. I matured and tried not to do anything that I myself was not alone and allowed Christ to take control and allow his game to become mine. I became patient and waited on him. Not that everything became easy in life, but life became easier to live. The game itself became something that I did not mind to be apart of and I did not play it the way that I felt it should be played but I played it Gods way. I still have to watch my grip but now its worth it.
The grip, not to soft...not too tight, but just right.

Golf is a funny game

Golf is a funny game. There are the highs of things like a good drive, an amazing putt, or even excellent sand work. There are always the lows of golf, things like the bad drive, the game out of the rough, the ball hitting a tree, and of course the water hazard. It is inevitable in golf to have amazing days, days that when you experience them you feel as if you are the next tiger woods and your game is improving. But undoubtedly the next round of golf will having you screaming to give it up. One putt can cause this, one solo branch hanging from the tree, one bark of a dog any of these various things can cause this round of golf to become bad. It feels like the smallest things can throw off even the most amazing of days. One little event can cause everything to come down crashing around you.

Life is just like that. You could be having an amazing ride in life. Everything is going your way. You feel absolutely invincible as if nothing in life could or would change that. That’s just the way it goes in life. There are ups and downs. There are the unexpected hazards that come along the way. A family member may say something to throw you off of your par performance, you may experience little bumps along the way, heart-break may be hanging and in your vision of what lies ahead you may not see it because the end goal, the little tin cup may be all that you are focused on.
So many times we are focused on that one end result. The little two putt to success. But life isn’t that easy something sometimes. Sometimes we focus on the end result and look right past the obstacles that stand in our way. When we face obstacles we try to hit around them when they are right in front of us. We think we know exactly how to get out of the situation. He try every shot in the book and try to even force ourselves out of the position we are in but it only makes it worse. Sometimes we have to just be patient and hit the ball back in play even if that means we have to hit it back or even to the side. We have to work out situations even if they mean taking a couple strokes to get back in play.

The one thing about golf is you have to forget. You can have the worse shot of your life, the ball can land two feet from you or 250 yards away caked in mud, covered by a bush right in front of a sand trap. No matter what the shot is you have to do one thing, forget. Every shot good or bad you have to forget. You have to approach the ball differently every time. You have too see the lie the ball is in and approach unlike any other shot. That is the key. You have take every swing of the club as a new opportunity to reach your goal. No matter what happens you must keep playing. The same in life. everything in your life whether good or bad must be taken as a new opportunity. Every moment in life should not be taken for granted. It should be faced with the same fire and determination as the rest of those situations. It’s hard to forget sometimes. It’s hard to forget when you look down and see the ball and see where you need to be. It’s hard to forget about that last shot when there are a line of oak trees staring you in the face. Its hard to forget when you see the pin so far away and distant. It’s so hard to forget. But sometimes we need to take a step back from the ball and look where we started from. Sometimes the tee box is close but you realize that you were closer now than when you started. That’s the beauty of golf. Whether it is an inch or three hundred yards you are always farther than when you started. Life is the same way. Even in the most difficult positions you realize that you are farther then when you started. Even though you are so far away from your goal you realize that you are still farther from where you started. Even through all the bad decisions, and current crappy situation you are still farther. Isn’t this still what it is all about? A learning process? Even when we mess up do we still not learn from it and it makes us stronger. Forgetting about the past isn’t forgetting what we have learned but forgetting the mistakes we made and pushing on forward in our goal.

Nothing in life comes easy. No golf shot is easy. The one club you constantly use did not become your best club easily. It took practice, comfort, but most importantly it took confidence. It is that natural swing you look for in all your shots. Now granted, some clubs are easier than others but at the same time it did not come without practice and many drops of sweat on the driving and well as divots made by slamming your club into the ground. It takes work. Even in life there are certain scenarios that seem easy to you. But when you look at them all you realize that they didn’t become easy just from skill or even from luck’s sake. But they each took work, they took trials and tests to make you stronger. It took tearful nights as well as heartbroken days to make you a stronger individual. It took times on your knees crying out to God to take the pain away to make you stronger. It took you at your absolute lowest moments in life to show you exactly what you needed to learn. Sometimes in those weakest moments we realize we are relying on our own strength too much and we need God to get us through these trials.

But the one thing besides forgetting about the last swing is having the right attitude. You can be Arnold Palmer but if your attitude is crappy it will affect your game. The frustration, the anger, the exhaustion, all of it plays a factor in your game. Sometimes you need to take a step back and just breath in and take a look around to realize where you are. If you are playing golf you must enjoy some aspect of it. You look forward to playing. Sometimes in the midst of a horrible round that feeling changes. You begin to realize how miserable you are. Right there in that moment you just need to stop, take a breath, look around and realize that you are still playing golf. You are still able to walk around and swing a club and that in itself is a blessing. The same thing takes place in life. Sometimes we just need to stop close our eyes and take a deep breath in and realize one thing. No matter what you’re going through. No matter how painful it all may be one thing is true, You’re alive. Take it all in. Every breath, every moment, even every hint of pain in your heart are all subtle reminders that you are live. No matter what comes your way you need to remember you are alive. You have a chance to right the wrongs in your life. You have a chance to continue to live. You have a chance to continue to learn from your mistakes. And that in itself is more encouragement that one should need. Every drop of sweat, every tear that has fallen, every time your pupils shook with excitement, and every time your heart hurts so bad you only want to groan in pain its all for the better.

Golf is a funny game. It is unforgiving and has no master. You can be on top of the world one moment and in the next it is the most humbling three hours of your life. Golf has that ability. But life is the same way. One minute everything is going your way and yet it all seems to shatter right in front of you the next. Maybe that is why we are so intrigued by golf. Maybe that’s the reason we play it so much is that we can relate our lives to a simple after noon on the course. But with golf as well as life we have to continue fighting. We have to keep playing. We have to keep swinging no matter what we face.
Golf is a funny game.

The Smell of a Pew

I recently had an experience that left me pondering for days on a recent church service I attended. It wasn’t the sermon, the community prayer, or even the worship that left me thinking. It was the people. The thought has run pervasive in my mind for days unrelenting in its fight in my mind. I have discussed it and debated it and am still left stunned by what happened and what I experienced.

I came into church on a bright Sunday morning with my mind really open to what God wanted to show me. But little did I know that it wouldn’t be any of the avenues I had thought it would be teaching me and showing me the reality that is God. I sat quietly in the back with my mother and the service began. People trickled in late and took there places in the rear of the church. At this I was shocked. I looked around and it was as if I wasn’t in church. I say this because they weren’t dressed in the “appropriate” Sunday morning attire, but at the same time neither was I. Let me explain the situation. Behind me was a single mother with her two kids that smelt as if she had just smoked three packs of cigarettes before she entered the church. On the end of my row there was a man in jeans, boots, shaved head sporting a huge beard, earrings, and a Harley Davidson leather jacket. In front of my a man look disheveled in the way he was dressed as if he had slept in clothes and come to church the same way. His breath is what captured me. You could smell the hint of alcohol on his breath. And to my left is a man that is an open homosexual. Father down the stairs and to my left is a man and a wife who are doing everything to keep their marriage alive. You could see the strain on their faces. There are those diagnosed with cancer. Where the youth sit they had the preps, the Goths, the punks and skaters, and the awkward types. There are those who I know from living there that aren’t exactly the most friendly with the law and have records. Then it hit me. This is exactly what church should look like.

This is exactly what our churches should look like. We have in our church community created this ideal of a country club mentality. “We want you…but only if you meet our certain mold and your life is cleaned up before you get here,” has become our hidden motto. This should not be. As I looked around I was taken back to the ministry that Jesus had on this earth. He did not cater to the perfect or the “godly” but to everyone. He spent his time with liars, thieves, drunks, prostitutes, the sexually immoral. This is exactly the type of environment Christ would be seen in.

In our churches today this scene is rare. We have created an army of cookie cutter Christians who cry out to God to reach the lost and soften their hard hearts. But yet we continue to act in an unforgiving way to them when they come in the church doors. We give them ignorant stares for fear that their smell may protrude if they speak, so we continue on with a half hearted fake smile. Christ said to come as you are, not come when you are cleaned up. Would Christ even be comfortable in our churches any more? We are more concerned with the color of the carpet and the decision between pews or chairs rather than the soul of the individual. The church has created this wall that gives off an undesirable feeling to the outside world. And we still wonder why we are not reaching the lost. We as a church family need to forget denominations, the looks of our clothing, or what Bible we use and instead be more concerned about getting our hands dirty and knees skinned up while we show the love of God to the world. We need to be willing to do unconventional ministry. We need to be willing to find the courage to minister to those we come into contact with and find the courage to minister to them no matter the situation or circumstance. Did it matter to Christ how someone smelled or how someone was dressed or even their life preference and the choices and the decisions they made in life. Lifestyle should not prevent us from reaching out to these people. Though we are supposed to hate the sin we are exhorted to love the sinner.

The amazing thing about God is this, Christ loved us the same right now that he did when we were drunk, when we were high, when we were fornicating. It hurt him but it did not affect the amount of love he showed for us and how much he did to rescue us from our sin and from our situations. Even when we were sinners Christ loved us. His grace and mercy covered us and saved us from the lifestyles we lived in. He saved us from ourselves and our destructive nature. He didn’t care that we were high, hung-over, or homeless. All he cared about was us and he loved us.

So this is what our pews should smell like. Our church’s should be so deliberate in showing the love of Christ that sinners, just like ourselves, are in the service. We should be smelling those smells, seeing these sights. If not then we are not doing something right. The reason that this is so important to me is that some church-goer reached out to me in the basement floor of Union Station in DC. Saw I was in pain, hurting, hung-over, disheveled, and lost and did not care about that and yet still showed me the love of Christ in the midst of my sinful life. They reached out to me and I found the love of Christ in my pew, even though I made the pew smell like alcohol and cheap rubbed off perfume. In our lives we should be living like everyone we come in contact with is not living for Christ and we should be willing to show the love of Christ to all.
So what do your pews smell like?

Pray Without Ceasing

In our lives we have the tendency to become so caught up in the monotony of life and all the pressures that surround us. Stress, though it causes pain, soon becomes a close friend in this journey. Torment rages our minds and tosses our thoughts like a ship in the midst of a hurricane. Pain fillets our hearts on this slab of an unfair life. We become used to these occurrences in our life as if they are just another unfortunate even on the road we travel. We begin to almost embrace them. And in the midst of our embracing them we lose sight of the goal that Christ has placed in our life. We soon stumble off track and focus on the pain of life rather than the joy that we are placed in. I’m not saying ignore the stress, tormenting trials, and pain for in those three things we find maturity and truly discover what God has for our lives. But we lose our focus on things that are happening to us here on this earth. But there is a remedy that I have discovered in the scriptures to battle this occurrence.

Paul exhorts us to pray without ceasing in 1 Thessalonians 5:17. This alone is a daunting task for anyone. We look at it with fear and the belief that this is impossible. But it is very possible for us in our lives. In my life there are moments where the pain is so great in my heart, the stress is bearing down on me, and my life feels as if the bowels of hell are tormenting it mercilessly. In these moments I find myself seeking things in life to relieve those emotions and raise me out of my depressed state and lift me to a whole new level. But these things only temporarily lift me out of my state of dread. I find myself within a small window of time back right where I started, feeling worse than before. But I read this verse. I felt dread almost in reading it feeling that it could never be accomplished. But I decided to try. I kept reminding myself when I would feel that pain in the pit of my stomach to pray.

It helped in ways that I never expected. It not only lifted my head, but it gave me hope. The pain seemed to disappear. And it wasn’t praying “O Holy and merciful father, thou art so great…etc.” I talked to God as if he was standing there. I voiced my frustrations, my anger, my pain. It was if a weight was lifting off of my chest as I talked to God as if I was talking to a friend. I try to do this every time it feels as if my heart is getting kicked and crushed. I used this time to really connect with God, and tell him what was going on and how I truly felt. I never held anything back, he already knew my heart, he knew exactly what was going on even without me telling him. And in my prayer a funny thing happened. It was something I never expected. In my walks or sitting down or driving the focus of the prayer left its focus of myself and my pain and turned slowly to praying for someone else or something else entirely. My focus was taken off on me and was turned to God.

We have a million things that are going on in our lives at any one time. Whether it is family issues, personal relationship issues, or even spiritual issues when we give them to God we are trusting him that he knows best. Its engrained in our very human nature to sit back and allow ourselves to try and control the situations. We think that our mortal, sinful, imperfect minds knows what is best for our life. We think that certain outcomes are exactly what we need to make us feel complete. But in trusting God we are showing him that he is in total control of this situation. He in His perfect timing will bring about the best result for us.

This idea of praying all the time goes beyond prayer and creates in us a spirit that Christ desires of us. Humility. This word is scary in itself, but in trusting God we are penitent, we kneel before Him humbly asking him to take care of this situation for us. We basically are taking the “reigns of the horse” out of our hands and to take control. This is an unnerving experience in itself. Even when we are so sure of something and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is Gods will we still need to let God be God and be in control of it all. When we do this we are for sure in for a crazy wild ride that may take us to places and experiences that we never even imagined could occur before.

This is not some cure all for life. You may pray and feel relieved and in the next hour it comes back. But don’t stop praying. God is not one to forget, he has our number, he knows us by name and he cares for everything in our lives no matter the significance of it. There are times where I pray short prayers all the time to help me get through just one hour of my day. But telling God he is in control and that I trust him to do what is best for my life frees me to follow Him and put my focus on Him and not the situation.

I spoke to a friend I respect about this and he offered an interesting perspective. He asked me if I thought that this situation was being allowed by God to bring me to a place where I would grow and learn. The army has a saying that pain is weakness leaving the body. Could this situation I am in be there in my life to help not only myself grow closer to Him but the other side as well? I know for a fact that it is. And the outcome may just yet be what I want but for the time right now I trust that God has placed me here for a specific reason. I know this because of the verses following as well as preceding. The entire passage states, “Rejoice in everything. Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.” Giving thanks is easy when times are good and the sun is shining and the pain is not there. But so many times we lose sight of what God is trying to work in our lives when everything is “hunky-dory.” God sometimes needs to bring us back to a place of submission to break us and mold us into who he wants us to be. Remembering constantly that He is in control and He is the one molding us and it is not us trying to “fix” ourselves. It is Him working in us.

But we also need to give thanks in all circumstances. Now this is where the rubber meets the road. This is where it really sucks and really hurts sometimes, because we are humans. Who in their right mind gives thanks when times suck? We as believers need to be willing to do this solely for the fact that this is Gods will for our lives. Even Christ was lead into the desert to be tested. This time was no walk in the park. I had to be very painful and even difficult at times. For one it was a desert. Who likes being in a desert? No one. But it is in the desert where we are without water, without shelter, without the comforts that we enjoy and are stripped down to the bare essentials and have to rely solely on Jesus. We need to realize that sometimes we are lead into “deserts” in our own lives so that we can be stronger when we come out of them. We are lead sometimes right in the middle of the valley of the shadow of death. We feel like our heart is dying inside. We feel that we cannot live without that one piece in our lives that we thinks makes us whole. But this is where Christ teaches us to depend on him, and pursue His un-ending love for us. It is in these times that we truly need to depend on God to lead us, guide us, mold us, and teach us.

When the rough times come, and they will come, we need to remember who is in control. Give thanks in the stress, give thanks in the pain as well as the torment. We need to remember to pray constantly, giving all that is frustrating us to God for it is in Him that we find our strength for that day, for that hour, or even for that exact moment. Because we are in these times so that we can learn and grow closer to Him. And during this time you will see the problem you face dissipate and solve itself out. It may not be the result you want. But if you believe in the pain of learning and you are willing to go through the fire and not run from it you will grow and become stronger in the process. But you have to make that decision to not back down, not hide from the pain but rather face it head on. Knowing you will not give up until God moves and God works. In this fight you will find yourself, but you will find yourself in Him. For in Him we live and move and breath. Pray without ceasing and see what happens…